Monday, December 31, 2012

Last post of the year

We are staying in for New Year's Eve. We definitely made up for it this weekend. We had the house to ourselves Saturday night, so we decided to order some porn. To start things off, my wife laid on the bed and watched the flick while I was on the floor at the foot of the bed licking her feet. She has often told me that she feels spoiled. I guess it would stand to reason when you consider she has the visual stimulation to get her wet while her husband worships the lowest part of her body. In no time, she was soaked. I would look up from sucking on her toes every once in awhile and see a curvy Mellanie Monroe(pictured above; not the same scene) sucking on a young guy with a huge cock. My wife would make comments here and there how she wishes he was in the room with us so she could get fucked.

I reached up to feel her soaked panties and took them off. She needed a man. I felt sorry that I wasn't capable of replicating what was happening on the screen. The best I could do was offer my erection for her mouth while I reached down and played with her slippery clit. She pulled out my penis from my pink string bikini panties and sucked me. It became clear that she pretended that she was sucking him. It got me really close to orgasm, so I had to pull away several times. She would stroke me very lightly, almost featherlike, until I was able to put it back in her mouth. After a few minutes of this, her pussy was getting there as well, so I dove in face first. She moaned and loved my oral worship as she continued to watch Mellanie get fucked. Soon, my wife was coming pretty hard. When she finally calmed down, she looked at me in that loving way that a couple looks each other in an aftersex glow.

In the past, it would have been time for her to tell me to fuck her. That wasn't the case now. My release date was a week away, so I wasn't going to enter because I would come immediately. Instead, she just kept staring at me. I knew the next thing for me to do was crawl up to her and embrace her. We hugged as if we were good friends. It was strange. We didn't kiss or anything like that. We just hugged tight and continued to hold each other. This felt like a new beginning. Like our dynamic couldn't have been more clear than right then. As if in the bedroom we were not really lovers, but rather Mistress and sexual servant. Although there was a raging boner in my panties, she didn't touch it for the rest of the night. We both looked over at the TV and noticed that it was time for the money shot. When he shot his load on Mellanie's face, my wife commented that she wished he was coming on her face instead.

This was obviously the beginning of round two. My wife was still really wet as we watched another scene. I didn't know the girl in this scene, but my wife liked the guy. I asked if she wanted him, and she very matter of factly said yes. She was ready for some more, so I got between her legs and started fingering her. It was Hitachi time as well. As I fingered her pussy and massaged her clit with the magic wand, she watched the movie in envy of the girl. Her second orgasm didn't take long either. With the Hitachi, though, it seemed like her orgasm was on steroids. These are seriously the most intense orgasms I've ever seen from my wife. The Hitachi will most likely be a mainstay for the rest of her life.

Once things wound down, I was put back in my CB3000 and ordered to sleep on the floor next to her bed. Although she was deprived of a good fuck by a real man, she was sexually satisfied. And I was also in an afterglow, proud of my own subservience. I didn't have trouble sleeping at all. My satisfaction came from being comfortable in my place as I drifted off peacefully.

Friday, December 28, 2012

What is the real goal for a submissive in chastity?

The last few days since my previous blog entry have been pretty fun with the Hitachi. My wife has already enjoyed several orgasms with it, and I have been getting more and more horny watching her come while I'm denied.

Last night, we had a pretty intense session. Being let out of my cock cage, I made out with my beautiful wife in bed. Those of you who have been in chastity know that the simple things like kissing and fondling become much more arousing when the focus is directed away from your penis. A good amount of kissing between us always gets my wife started down below. Once I began to pet her pantied crotch, the hints of wetness began to appear. It was time for me to go down on her. I pulled her panties off and started licking frantically. I love licking my wife's pussy. Not only does it taste so good, it is a loving act of subservience that makes her feel really good physically and as well as being mentally arousing for her.

Once her clit was engorged and she was breathing heavily, she called for the Hitachi. I placed it on her clit and basically sat next to her in admiration of her pleasure. My penis was at full length in my panties and she decided to let me have a little pleasure as well. She took it out and very softly, she began to stroke me with as little friction as possible. She wanted to tease the precum from me; she likes watching my incapable peepee weep. This gentle caress was making me feel good, but she knew that I didn't deserve a real stroke because it could very well end in an accident. It didn't take much time before her new friend was making her come fiercely. She let out a scream that seems to be the gold standard for her orgasms now. I set aside the Hitachi, put her panties back on her, and started kissing her sweetly in her post-orgasm glow.

I found myself on top her her now. She reached down to my penis, which was back in my panties, and guided my crotch into hers. She let me stroke my body against hers. This slow dry humping was going to be all that was allowed, but it felt so good for me. We looked into each others eyes and said that we loved each other, two layers of feminine fabric separating our sexual organs and preventing me from feeling what real men take for granted. Yet we seemed to both be in perfect sync because this was the way for us. She was physically satisfied and the only thing she wanted from me at that time was my undivided attention to her emotional and immediate physical needs in the form of caressing and cuddling. I started to get too caught up in the moment and she knew it was time for me to stop humping or else there would be an imminent accident. She told me to lock myself up and give her the key. She then said that I was going to wear the chastity device for awhile, even at work. This was unprecedented. I usually shower at work, but she told me that I would be losing that privilege and showering at home. She was tired of my excuses for not wearing it and wanted me locked up "for real".

That night, while she slept soundly after being exhausted, I got up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom. When I returned to bed, I noticed her voluptuous figure sleeping peacefully. Her heaving breasts in her tank top, and her luscious thighs protruding from her panties, down to her shapely calves, and finally her soft, little feet. I wanted to end chastity right then and there. I wanted to jump on top of her and fuck her perfect body. I wanted to pound her missionary while her sexy legs rested on my shoulders. I wanted to rip her top off and see her boobs again, then I wanted to fuck them until I shot everywhere. Then I wanted to turn her around and fuck her doggy style while slapping her round ass. I wanted to ravage her until I was physically sexually satisfied. Instead, I could only be frustrated because I could do none of those things. It was a very hollow feeling, and sometimes I wonder why this is the path I've chosen when it tortures me so much.

Furthermore, it gets me to thinking about what the ultimate goal is in all of this. Let's set aside the men who are in fact slaves to their wives and have no choice at all in the matter. In my marriage, this is a kink that I proposed initially. My love for all things related to my submissive relationship with my wife is purely sexual. Primarily, the ultimate goal in a man's sex life is to achieve orgasm. I would say that the greatest feeling for me is orgasm as well. Why is it that I crave the situation where I am denied the greatest feeling I can experience? I have tried to explain my feelings about this before in my blog, especially in the entry The Chastity Paradox. But the experience I had last night makes me really ask myself what the endgame is for a submissive husband in chastity. The obvious answer is that a true submissive finds great joy in putting others before himself. That's great in theory. But I will also argue that if a man gets pleasure from being horny and denied, that is in fact putting his pleasures at high priority. At the end of the day, I would actually choose to be denied, frustrated, and driven mad with this insatiable lust. But why? Is this frustration the ultimate goal I'm trying to achieve? Or is it the elusive orgasm that finally follows all of this frustration? And if so, why do I waste my life agreeing to wait so long for it?

I realize that I will probably never know the answer to this. But my plan is to assume that orgasm is the ultimate goal and do everything in my power to cater toward this way of thinking. I've experienced orgasms at my own will and although any orgasm is great, they pale in comparison. When my wife truly denies me and I come to the realization that I am not in control, that hurtful frustrating feeling is at its peak. However, when she truly owns my orgasms and they have become a gift from her, they are unmatched in intensity and satisfaction when I do earn them. Perhaps this really is the ultimate goal.

Monday, December 24, 2012

Fun for the holidays

It looks like I'm still going to be allowed to have sex with my wife after all. My most recent release was last weekend. I had gotten my wife off while she rode my face. Perhaps this display of dominance helped the situation, but things seemed a lot more intense overall. After getting her off, she stroked my penis. Although I wasn't fully hard, I was ready to cum. My penis has gotten so unreliable when it comes to performance that I didn't think I could actually get a full erection before orgasming. I had to push my wife's hand away and told her my situation. She told me to fuck her and I got into missionary position. My penis regained a fully erect state before I entered. This made my wife happy, but I came once I made it inside. The feeling of her hot pussy seemed to be especially nice. I must have looked like I was having a seizure over the sensation I experienced. Within a span of perhaps 20 seconds, I had entered, came, gotten completely soft, and was once again out of my wife. And so began another three week bout of orgasm denial.

I had gotten my wife an early Christmas present that we used last night. I had heard about the Hitachi Magic Wand for years but for some reason or another, never got one. Well once it came in the mail a few days ago, I could not wait to give it to her. And give it to her I did. After a pedicure, a back massage, some making out and oral worship on her pussy, I brought out her new toy. I was fairly confident that she would enjoy the experience since pretty much every review of the Hitachi I've ever read was positive. And yes, she loved it. She actually thought she could go twice in a row immediately, which was highly uncommon for her. However, she was tired because it was late at night and we have been busy doing the holiday thing so we were worn out. She seemed to like it so much that she wants to try again tonight. I hope we're not distracted by the Christmas duties, because I love watching her have orgasms even though I'm locked in chastity.

I consider my wife my Mommy, who is my Santa Claus. I hope she feels that I have been a good boy for her this year so I can be on her nice list. But watching her come from the Hitachi the only present I need this holiday season.

Thursday, December 13, 2012

Freestyle Writing About The Extreme Fantasy

As of now, I've been denied orgasm for 18 days and I've been locked in my chastity device since Friday night.

Friday night was date night. After dinner and drinks, my wife and I had some fun in the bedroom. I got her off twice while we watched porn, but I wasn't allowed an orgasm since it wasn't time. Considering the event had gotten me so horny, she decided it would be best if I was locked up until my three week release date.

I've often explained the things that happen to me when I'm horny and have absolutely nothing, not even a full erection, as an outlet. But what is hard to explain is how vivid and perhaps coveted some of my more extreme kinks and fantasies become. I decided to write freely about a thought that has surfaced in my head many times. This is a concept for a very kinky yet tragic situation. While the thought puts me in a state of erotic nirvana, I would never want to experience it in real life.

Our subject is a married man who has introduced Femdom to his wife and they play games from time to time. He confesses to his wife that although he is above average in endowment, he craves small penis humiliation. He confesses that he craves to be cuckolded by her and another man with a bigger dick. She doesn't understand these fantasies, but doesn't see the harm in indulging in his fantasies. She tries to facilitate his growing need to be humiliated by verbally abusing him about his fictional lack of size. It isn't enough for the man. He asks her for permission to undergo penis reduction surgery. His wife is shocked by this revelation and does not like the idea at all. Little by little, he persuades his wife into understanding how important the need is for him until she finally goes along with it. He tells her that she can take on extra lovers if she wants someone with a big dick. She doesn't hold this entire subject in the same regard as he does, but she decides to do what is best to make him happy and support him.

After the procedure and full recovery period, his erections measure at only 3 1/2 inches, per his instructions to the doctor. Initially following the procedure, he has mixed feelings because he realizes the result is permanent. He starts to get nervous about that fact, but reassures himself that he is living his wildest submissive fantasy. There is an unintended consequence, though. When he has intercourse with his wife, she is filled with so much resentment because he took away the pleasure she experienced with him. The sexual chemistry is gone. He feels so bad and starts to really regret his decision. He misses that which he took for granted. He does not like the fact that he can't have that special connection with his wife anymore. He is so distraught that he doesn't mention what he said earlier about his wife having other lovers. However, after months of heartache, she decides to take his original advice have an affair herself. She later admits to her husband that she is sleeping with another man and decides to rub his nose in it because of what he put her through. The husband can't handle the new truth, but has no other choice. He must live with the decision to be a cuckold with an extremely small penis for the rest of his life.

I have a lot of other concepts that I can't even list as true fantasies because they may be considered too extreme even for my taste. Perhaps I will do some other writing on them from time to time.