Tuesday, May 22, 2012

I can't handle the denial

I have been having regrets about proposing the pussy denial rule. If you haven't been following my blog or don't remember, I made a comment in the heat of passion at the beginning of the year about how my wife should deny me the privilege of fucking her until after a real man has her, and only after those times. When she quickly agreed, a mixture of surprise and excitement occupied my thoughts for quite awhile. But the feeling of regret was never anticipated, nor present for months after. My last blog entry finally showed signs of giving in.

Last night I found myself the lucky participant in a hot session of getting my wife off. I had her on her hands and knees while I worked a dildo in an out, also massaging her engorged clit and eating her asshole. She loved it and got off easily. Once she turned over, she started petting my stiff penis with her foot. As she played with my erection, careful not to send me over the edge, I stared up and down her curvy legs and perfect feet. I wished I could open her legs and drive my cock inside, exploding throughout her pussy. I decided to let her know what I was feeling.

I told her I was having regrets about the situation. She was sympathetic and told me that she did miss having me inside of her. I started to gain hope, and I told her how much I wanted to fuck her right then and there, how I wanted to flood her pussy with my come. She nodded. So I started to spread her legs. Just then, she asked me "Don't you have one more week to go?". I said "well, yes", and before I could add to that, she said that I would have to wait until then. I thanked her, but then she added more.

"You'd still have to use a condom. You aren't allowed to come inside me anymore, remember?". This hit me, surprised yet aroused. I told her ok, and said that maybe it would help me last longer anyway. We kissed and cuddled a little before she made yet another comment on the subject.

"On second thought, I think you can wait one more month until after I get fucked, can't you?". She is meeting with her guy at that time. Still aroused, I agreed with her. It seems she either started to gain composure or she had been teasing me this entire time. Either way, my genuine request to have sex with my wife was shot down. I guess I can wait. It is only one more month after all.

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Spring Fever and Summer Torture

I always got spring fever starting at a young age. After a usually gray and nasty winter, the inevitable change back to a sunny and warm climate made me feel substantially better overall. At a young age I would also develop a crush on the girl of that particular year and not be able to keep my mind off of her.

As an adult, that focus shifts more towards a sexual nature. The warm weather brings out the skimpier clothes that women wear, and my favorite, their flip flops exposing fresh pedicures. Add to this my overall better feeling in general, and my sex drive tends to skyrocket. Being on a chastity schedule makes it unbearable, and the summer only seems to get worse. The hot weather seems to also fan the flame of my sexual frustration. Activities like going to the pool surround me with exposed bodies that torment my biological urges. Even my wife, my mate for life, tortures me as she wears her swimsuit which reveals her voluptuous body complete with gorgeous big tits. I can't even turn to her for satisfaction.

I am having uncontrollably extreme, desperate, and even conflicting thoughts now in the beautiful month of May. I want to convince my wife to end the bout of denial with her. I want to be able to spread her legs and thrust deep into her. I want to feel the warm wetness that I took for granted so many years ago. I want to pump until I come inside of her, ending the torture I have endured for so long. Then I want to get worked up enough to fuck her some more. I want us to become one again in that way. I want her to put her arms tight around me as she enjoys my pumping and thrusting. I want to rub her clit while I'm fucking her, until she has her orgasm, carefully timed so that I come with her. I want us to have that special connection as we both orgasm together. Then I want us to collapse into each other's arms in a pool of sweat.

Likewise, I want to be denied the request of fucking her. I want her to tell me that I am useless in that capacity and that I will never be allowed inside of her again. I want her to make me feel like an idiot for requesting such a ridiculous thing. I want her to find a local boyfriend who assumes all sexual rights. I want her to demonstrate what she thinks of me by stripping me naked, putting a collar around my neck with a leash, and making me act like a dog. I want her to restrict further access to her body by making her feet the only part of her body I'm ever allowed to kiss and worship, and only as a reward. And when I beg for her to relieve my sexual frustration, I want her to slap my balls until my arousal goes away.

Strangely enough, I want both of these scenarios equally. Obviously, I just want to have my sexual urges met in the most extreme way. However, life isn't just about my wants and desires. I have a feeling that it is going to be a long summer.

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Sara Jay and Gianna Michaels: Two women I can't get out of my head

I will preface this blog entry by saying that if I was given the opportunity to be in a sexual situation with any woman, my choice would be to watch my wife have the greatest sex ever with a big dicked stud, bottom line. My second choice would be to watch her with some other big dicked stud. I am married to the woman I love most and the thing that makes my love and lust for her is the fact that she is who she is. To live out my cuckold fantasy with her would be more rewarding and fulfilling than being with anyone else in any capacity.

Having said that (oh yes, you knew it was coming), I am only a mortal man who has a reasonable sex drive. And my sex drive is magnified what seems to be tenfold by orgasm denial. So as any man not without flaws, I am attracted to other women. Still, as a married man who takes a sexually subservient role in a marriage, it seems quite awkward to also mention the urges and temptations out there. But they are out there. Two women who do not help the matter of keeping my attention on my wife are Sara Jay and Gianna Michaels. I fantasize about a scenario involving both of them.

I'll start with Sara Jay. My preference for women is always about being curvy with big breasts, big asses, and legs with substance. So it is natural that I am attracted to Sara Jay. But I think what sets her apart from the rest is how unique she looks. There are a million pornstars out there that are ultra hot, but I don't know anybody who looks similar to Sara. She has the most seductive eyes in the industry, and quite frankly, the definite features in her face put me in a trance and make me want to drop to my knees and hope to be accepted by her. To add to her awesome curves and adorable face, I think she has the most suckable looking toes on earth. She has the cutest little feet with little toes that make me salivate.

My fantasies are definitely not your typical run of the mill, conventional jack off fantasies. In my ultimate fantasy involving her, Sara would play the role of my strict stepmother. She would make me call her Mommy and never tolerate anything but my best behavior. That wouldn't take much work on her part because not only would I be afraid of her, my crush on her would also ensure that I go out of my way to please her at all times. I would make her proud to have a good boy like me. I would be required to perform all chores in the house as well as serve as somewhat of a personal assistant to her. Well aware of her sexual power over me, she would keep me in chastity and reward me with things like foot worship, ass worship, and sometimes I'd get lucky enough to perform cunnilingus on her. She would also let me watch her have sex with other men. This would serve as a reward, but also a reminder that she has real men in her life while I am more of a service boy.

Gianna Michaels is also a voluptuous vixen in the industry. Her natural figure is top notch, and watching her fuck on screen magnifies it. She also has a uniquely seductive look that sets her apart. If you see a picture of her looking into the camera, her eyes seem to be asking if you can keep up with her. This is even more evident while she fucks. The way she looks at the person. It is like she dares the partner to give her what she needs but they are going to have to work for it.

As a weak sexual performer, I know that I would not be able to keep up with her. I guess knowing that gives me an automatic feeling of inferiority to her. In my fantasy, Gianna would play the role of my bratty stepsister. She would have a sense of self-entitlement, and the things she can get with her beauty would only prove her correct. A modern day princess, she would not do any chores since that is my job. She would also know that I have a crush on her and play it to her advantage. She would be bratty especially towards me and my resentment would sometimes boil to levels of near rebellion against her. However, any time I lose my temper and begin to raise my voice at her, she would call my bluff and stand up to me. I would always cower, lower my head, remember my place in the household and apologize. She would then point to her feet as an order to kiss them. I would obey the order, making my apology complete.

As if doing enough chores for myself and Gianna wasn't enough, she would also blackmail me into doing even more personal chores for her. If she ever caught me sniffing her panties, she would hold it against me and threaten to tell Mommy (Sara Jay). That is the last thing I would ever want, so I would be trapped into doing anything Gianna says, including ironing her clothes, buying her things, giving her massages and pedicures, perhaps even more personal things like shaving her legs too. She would also humiliate me in front of her friends by making me lick her sweaty feet after she's been out all day or shoving my face in her ass. She would also humiliate me in front of her boyfriends by making me be act as a sissy maid while they have sex. The possibilities here are endless.

The good thing about the fantasy world is that things don't have to make absolute sense. The three of us would all be adults and Sara and Gianna somehow would not be related as mother and daughter. In fact, to each other the women would act more as peers and in some cases, lovers. Yet the three of us would live in this house with the rules aforementioned.

For me, this scenario is quite the exotic escape from real life. But I suppose now is the time to refocus on my real Mommy (my wife). She let me jack off in the bathroom last night so I feel the need to plan something special in appreciation. So goobye for now, Sara Jay and Gianna Michaels. I'm sure I will be visiting again soon.

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

The Letdown

I knew I shouldn't have mentioned it at all. In the grand scheme of things, the odds that my wife was going to be able to sneak away from her family for some hot sex were stacked against us from the beginning. As I mentioned last post, visiting your hometown with any notice at all to other friends and family is like having a jam packed schedule already planned for you. So needless to say, I wasn't cucked this weekend.

On one hand I feel that I have no right to complain, and I didn't. It comes as selfish behavior. Real life gets in the way of all things kinky sex related all the time. I am not going to pout to her about not getting the proper cucking that I crave so I can get sloppy seconds with a condom. I feel like I am pressuring her to be a sexual cuckoldress enough as it is. The best thing I can do is show my understanding.

On the other hand, I will reflect my feelings on this blog because that is its purpose. Even though it would have been extremely difficult to pull off a meeting between my wife and her fuck buddy, it could have been done with the right planning. So the indication I'm getting is that I was more enthusiastic about the possibility of it than they were and also more effected by the failure of it. I'm sure many husbands feel like I do when their wife is about to or does get fucked by another man. The feeling washes over me. My kinks play on the notion that they are the primary partners when it comes to intercourse, and I am just the massage boy who is allowed to tongue bathe her body but is primarily relegated to her feet. It is an exaggeration of sorts seeing that they don't get to hook up often. But when they fail to hook up on the times they are supposed to, it kind of makes me feel like I am not really a cuckold. I know it shouldn't feel that way, but it is extremely deflating.

The biggest reminder in all of this is that my wife, as with women in general, will never view sex the same as I do as a man. If my wife wanted me to have sex with any other woman I wanted, I would try to have at least one local girl who would keep me satisfied multiple times a week. But since it is my wife who has that freedom, she doesn't see the need for sex on that level. She is satisfied with what I provide even if it isn't a good fucking. And although she does love a good pounding by someone who can do that, she could take it or leave it.

There is another meeting in the works in the next couple of months. The plan is to be just the three of us. Maybe this will prove to be the meeting that was worth the wait. Only time will tell. Until then, I'm not sure. I think I will continue to be cut off so it will seem like a long wait.