Saturday, April 21, 2012

Competition Between Males

I am currently in a horny state that can be described as both euphoric and torturous. It seems to be more intense this week especially. The sight of my wife excites me to the point of confusion. I see her after work and glance at the way her heaving breasts fill out her top, and I go into some sort of a trance. She kicks off the shoes she wore for work, usually some style of dress heels, and heads to the bedroom to change. I have been forbidden for quite some time to be in her presence while she changes, so my only outlet is to pick up her shoes and sniff their fragrance. Last night, during the nightly foot massage, I mentioned how horny I was. I mentioned how I fantasized about her constantly as well as all of my kinky fetishes involving her. She was amused by this, but let me stew in my own frustration. And to add to all of this, now there is a chance that my wife could hook up with her fuck buddy very soon.

I should explain the situation in more detail since I never have on this blog. The reason my wife hooks up with this guy so rarely is because he lives out of town. Actually, he lives in the city in which my wife grew up. They were friends who became fuck buddies before she left town for her career. While she does visit home often, there are not always opportunities for them to get away for meetings. Friends and family are big challenges for that. I have only met him once in passing. Other than that, my only interactions with him have been over the phone through both voice and text. Well they have been talking lately, and he really wants to see her. We are heading there in a few weeks with the family. They are trying to plan a time where they can sneak off for an hour or so.

The prospects of them meeting have occupied a good portion of my mind. My wife knows that I think about the two of them fucking probably more than they do. So one of the aspects of cuckolding popped into my head recently. I now find myself wondering if there will ever be a time that I will turn, in his mind, from just her knowing husband into a wimp that he has defeated.

Of course I am a man, so I know how men think. Men usually get along and if we have the same interests, we can become friends if it is convenient. But I think we size each other up, if only subconsciously, to determine if we respect each other. My wife's friend has never said a bad thing toward me and seems to keep a level of respect, which I feel is something that a cuckold may initially need in order to wrap his head around a real life cuckold lifestyle. At least it is in my case. Some cucks have advanced beyond this level and derive pleasure from being put down by the wife's boyfriend. This, perhaps, could be the hardest thing to swallow for the average man who is hardwired to compete, to fight when challenged by another man, plain and simple.

But then I started thinking. What if there is a time in the future when I am actually allowed to be in the same room with them while they fuck? And what if it starts to go further, including a show of dominance over me on his part? Now, he already knows that I'm locked in a chastity device whenever they meet up, and that she has taken complete control of me sexually. He knows that he fucks her better than I do and that I'm more of an oral provider. And he takes interest in hearing the details of the dynamic and seems to be turned on by it. So perhaps he does have a slight feeling of superiority over me but rather keeps things cordial between us.

A scenario comes to mind. A scenario in which the three of us have a chance to finally hang out. We would probably go to a bar and talk like three friends. After some initial awkwardness, the alcohol would loosen us up to the point of friendly, casual conversation. I'm sure the mood would be cordial and we could all have a great time. Later on, he suggests that he would be ok if I came with them to the hotel room so I could watch. So when we get thee and the makeout session commences, I reach a state of arousal that I haven't reached since I first became aware of cuckolding itself. As the kissing gets heavier, they start taking each other's clothes off. Soon my wife is topless and I finally get to see her naked breasts again, as he begins to caress them and suck on them. My wife decides to take it further. She looks at me and asks me, in front of him, if I like finally seeing her boobs again. I say yes, and she tells me that maybe I should strip down and put some panties on since I'm not a real man like he is. He seems taken aback by the comment, but still shows a favorable reaction. I do as I'm told and soon I am wearing nothing but a silky pink thong. She tells me to sit in the corner and watch while she gets fucked. And that he does. The sights and sounds of him taking complete charge of her and making her pussy his own puts me on the edge of orgasm. And the way she moans while he pounds what has become his while I do nothing but sit like a sissy in panties, well that takes me over the edge. I spurt and spurt, filling my silky crotch with weeks worth of come.

She asks if I am enjoying the show and I admit that I came. Laughingly, she shouts "What?". I tell her that I got too excited and she tells me to stand up and show them. At this point, I am in a state of post orgasm embarrassment as I walk toward them and present myself. As they look at my semen soaked crotch, she says "Wow" and he laughs with his own "Oh my god!". She turns to him says "Now do you see why I need a real man?". He laughs and agrees with her. It is at that point that he knows for sure that he has defeated me and become superior. As he turns back to her and resumes fucking, a confidence begins to build in him to the point of tossing insults here and there at me, which become more and more blatant as he fucks her for hours. It becomes quite obvious who the only man in the room is.

When a man loses respect for another man due to a overwhelming show of weakness in any way, that respect is usually lost forever. He will never again treat that weaker man with any sense of equality. He will forever talk down to the weaker man. And that is how my wife's friend would view me. I would no longer be that kinky guy who lets my wife fuck around. Instead I would always be a little bitch who couldn't be the man to my wife that he is. I would be the sick fuck who needed to wear girly things to get off. There would no longer be beers between friends or the sharing of jokes. Instead, I would probably be told to wait in the car the next time they wine and dine.

Truth be told, in the fantasy world this is highly erotic to me. For a guy who finds submission arousing, there are no boundaries when it comes to fantasies. But in the real world, I certainly don't think I would enjoy being treated like that by another man. It just isn't in mine or most men's genetic makeup. But if things ever do progress in our cuckold arrangement, although unlikely, there is the possibility that one day I might have to submit to my wife's lover in one way or another. And I will take the place I am given, regardless if I like it or not.

Monday, April 16, 2012

A great weekend reveals serious possibilities

I don't know if it was because of the great weather or the fact that our work schedules have slowed down, but things shaped up to be one of the best weekends in a long time. Not only was the whole weekend great in general, the sex was good too. No, I didn't get to fuck my wife, but I was grateful for what I did get.

On Friday, we met after work for a happy hour with friends. A great start to the weekend. Once the night finally came to an end, my wife was in the mood to play. In the bedroom, I took my place at the foot of the bed, naked and started worshipping her feet. I'm usually required to give a massage, but she wanted to get right to it. After a long day, licking the sweat from her feet is extremely rewarding to me. I can't think of a better way to show my appreciation, adoration, and outright subservience to my owner than by performing such an intimate act like this. Eventually, after my show of attention, I was eating her pussy. My oral worship gave her an explosive orgasm.

Knowing it was the three week mark in my denial, I waited for the signal to say I was going to be allowed to come. Instead, she told me that she knew it was time, but that I was going to be denied for the night. I asked if I was eventually going to be allowed sometime this weekend. She said she would think about it. I accepted and we got into some more talk about our sex life. She said she had been thinking, and liked how good I've been for her. She told me she has decided that even though my penis was going to be allowed access to her pussy once she sees her fuck buddy again, it would be for one time only, and my wait would start all over again until their next visit. Furthermore, I was indeed going to have to wear a condom, and she wasn't sure if she was ever going to allow me to come directly into her pussy again, even though he goes bareback with her. So things seemed to be going so well in her opinion that the arrangement would continue and perhaps be permanent.

Though this came as quite a shock, the revised arrangement seemed to be invigorating to me. I worked very hard the rest of the weekend on chores and the like. I was concerned that my orgasm opportunity for the weekend had passed me by. But Sunday night I was in fact rewarded with another opportunity to pleasure her. Once I gave her an orgasm, she let me come on her feet. I had to lick up my mess afterward, but it was worth the experience. I wish the idea of eating my own come was as appealing post orgasm as it is any other time. But I'll take that any day over being sent to the bathroom to jack off.

I really don't know how I'm going to be able to handle a permanent arrangement like this. My idea was to do this as a trial run. I thought I'd have to wait until she fucks her friend and then she'd finally be all mine again. I knew it would probably be several months of a wait, but I could make up for it afterwards. I thought I'd be allowed to fuck her a lot afterwards, and perhaps even gain back the stamina that she liked. Not the case anymore. I hope I enjoy what I have created. It is exciting to think of my plot as a cuckold. And I will do whatever she wants. I just hope that feeling continues.

Monday, April 9, 2012

Approaching 100 days without intercourse

I can say for certain that from the day I met my wife, I have never gone this long without intercourse. Although I knew what it was like to go sexless at one time, it has been over a decade since that time. I have heard of countless married couples who have said the spark is gone and they rarely have intercourse, if ever. But the spark is not gone in my marriage, and we have as much fun in bed as possible. I just so happen to be denied entry to her hot pussy.

I really have no room to complain. This was my idea. If you are new to the blog, I proposed that perhaps I should be denied intercourse until her next meeting with her guy friend, who lives out of town. Why would I have done something like that? One would think that it means a husband doesn't care to have sex with his wife due to a lack of attraction, and therefore knows he won't miss it. But that is quite the opposite. I can think of no greater feeling than when I ejaculate inside of my wife. The look she would give me while I filled her full of my seed. The entire experience is unmatched. The problem is that it became a selfish act. I was underperforming and shooting my load quickly and she became disappointed every time I reached orgasm. Then, post orgasm, I would roll over and assume the non-submissive persona that lacked the sensuality she grew to love during times of chastity. The natural progression was to deny the lowly husband the opportunity to engage in the sexual activity that real men take for granted. Looking back, it becomes even more obvious why she quickly agreed to this.

I now laugh at the thought that I had made plans on how to encourage her to stay the course. That seems a distant memory now when we play in bed. She never lets my penis get anywhere close to her pussy. My tongue, fingers, and toys are allowed. But the sexual organ that makes me a man is now treated like a toy for her entertainment, and a tool for my subservience. She likes to look at my erection and put it in her mouth. I'm lucky I get to experience that and I think it has kept my sanity in all of this. But that is all I get to enjoy. Besides the occasional accident, all of my authorized ejaculations have been directed toward the bathroom, away from her. And she has hinted that I may be required to wear a condom when I'm finally allowed to fuck her. At this point, I hope the original terms of our arrangement haven't changed. I hope I am still allowed to enter her after her meeting with her man.

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

My Top 5 Favorite Power Exchange Dynamics

I've mentioned several times that I am into all things related to the power exchange. This can include Female/male, Male/female, Female/female, Male/male, and even Female/tv, Male/tv, or TV/male, you get the picture. Even though I like being submissive to women the most, it is just one aspect of my kink. As long as one person has taken complete control of another, I find it highly erotic. A lot of people take comfort in a certain order and that order only. For instance, one may feel that women are superior creatures and should always be treated as such, and therefore feel that it is as it should be. I have no problem with a person who believes this because when it comes to desires, lifestyles, and preferences, like the old cliche goes, to each their own. But for me, the kink is the fact that it is not how it should always be. The turn on about a power exchange dynamic that it is kinky and different. You don't usually see a person walking another
person on a leash every day, so the sight or even the thought of it actually happening is exhilarating to me. That is why a good changeup is always refreshing.

Having said that, there are dynamics of the power exchange that appeal to me more than others. Some good dynamics come to mind, like the knight who serves his queen, or the bad girl who calls her man "Daddy". The school teacher and student is a popular one, and I have gotten a rise from seeing a leather wearing top male dominating his boy. But there are dynamics that I myself find the most arousing. I will list my top five dynamics in order from least to most arousing. By the way, I will not include the dynamic of hot wife and cuckold only because in my fantasies, I am always a cuckold.

5. Dominant Wife and crossdressing sissy husband-

The scenario in many fiction stories plays out like this: Wife catches husband trying on her clothes. She decides to dress him up completely. She loses all respect for him as a man and decides that her husband will lose his status as her male companion and become her "girlfriend". She will take steps to send him further and further into womanhood, which may even include taking hormones. The wife will need a male sex partner, so she takes on a lover. Soon, she and her husband will go on double dates with guys, become shopping partners, and become a diminished version of their former life.

What turns me on so much about this dynamic is the literal emasculation of the husband. The way we are biologically wired, taking everything that we are as males away from us creates an extreme feeling of helplessness that I happen to enjoy on a sexual level.

4. Bratty princess type and pathetic loser-
Sometimes, there is nothing more annoying than some 18-20 year old brat that has been given everything she has ever wanted and acts as if the world owes her. And sometimes, especially if she is hot, that attitude is just what a pathetic submissive male craves. Her harsh words to them are like kryptonite. They will do anything she says and be thankful to be allowed her time.

I've seen a lot of this stuff on the internet and it seems to be a really popular genre of Femdom erotica. I find it very appealing when I see a male idiot stripped down to nothing but a chastity device, on his knees licking some young, bratty girl's shoes, especially when she chides him the entire time for not being able to do anything right.

I have no idea as to why the appeal. She is usually mean, has no respect for him, and there is almost never any reward of a sexual nature. She usually has a real man for a boyfriend, so the slave knows she is off limits to him. The only reward I see is that the slave usually gets a mouthful of foot sweat. But for some reason, that is a reward I'd love to earn.

3. Male Dom and submissive married couple-
Like all dynamics, there are many variations to this. This is speaking in regards to my favorite variation. A dominant male has taken complete ownership of a married couple and has stripped them of their rights. He uses them for his own personal sexual satisfaction. He fucks the wife in any way he wants. Both the husband and wife serve him orally as well. The married couple are not allowed to be involved sexually with each other, without the consent of their Master. He has taken away the husband's right to have intercourse with his own wife. However, during play with Master present, hubby will usually be allowed to service his wife orally in preparation for her sex with Master. Hubby begs Master to be allowed to lick his wife's ass and feet, and is rewarded with it if he has been good.

This scenario also plays into the psych of the submissive that craves helplessness. Here is a man who entered the sanctity of marriage with the woman he loves, yet is denied the intimate aspect of such a bond. The husband must instead stand by idly while the woman he loves is subjected to taking a degrading position in life just like he is. Being taken down a notch as a human being like this would make a normal man go crazy, but the thought gives a guy like me a raging hard on.

2. Mistress and human dog-
This is one of my favorite dynamics because it takes the reduction of a person down further than any of my other favorites. Not only is the male lowered to a level below his Mistress, he is not even worthy of human status. I get just as much of a rise out of the Mistress and female human dog because of the magnitude of the power exchange, but since I'm a male, I will speak toward the male variation. A female owner is a personal preference of mine because of my attraction to women in general as well as the allure of their authority.

If one thinks that being stripped of masculinity or marriage status is intense, imagine being denied the functions of human nature. Not being allowed to speak like a human, stand upright, or even use your hands would be the ultimate in degradation. Relying on your Mistress for food, potty breaks, and general acceptance is something only a loyal one could subject himself to. Dogs also like to lick feet and hump legs, which are two of my favorites. I've probably said somewhere before that I could live off of those two forms of sexual activity exclusively. So to become a human dog is a win-win for me.

1. Mommy and good boy-
This dynamic stands out from the rest because of the presence of loving intimacy. Femdom often incorporates cruel and harsh treatment, but the Mommy/boy dynamic adds a sweeter tone that is unique, and I find that very sensual.

Again, this will speak to my own preference. This, to me, is a bit separate from an incest fantasy in that I am not speaking of a biological mother. This is more of a continuation of a man's life under the thumb of a woman who has taken over as his authority figure. Since the term 'Mommy' is used to describe the ultimate female caregiver and authority figure in a young boy's life, the man will call this woman Mommy as well since she has taken this role.

In my variation, the boy strives to be a good boy for mommy. He does his chores, helps mommy out with any personal assistance, and does his best to stay pure for her. What I mean by pure is that he must never masturbate, and he must always confess to her of his dirty thoughts. She will shape him to lust only for her. Because of this, he will want to fuck mommy. But boys aren't allowed to fuck their mommies. Mommy has grown up men who handle that. Mommy's boy isn't even allowed to see her naked breasts because he can't control himself when he sees them.As a consolation, she may allow him to worship her feet, ass, and even pussy. This sends the sub boy into an extreme bout of sexual frustration, but he always turns to mommy to make everything alright. He may pout with his head on her bosom while she comforts him. She will reward her boy with ejaculations when he has earned them. There are so many variations that cloud my mind, like being spanked for peeking at mommy while she changes, being rewarded by getting to hump mommy's leg or foot, the list goes on and on. Just as long as the boy knows his place, he will always be loved by her.

The speaking of different roles and dynamics is probably the most erotic part of sex for me. I'm curious to know of others's opinions and favorite dynamics as well.

Sunday, April 1, 2012

Quarterly Orgasm Report

I thought it would be interesting to look back on the year when it comes to my orgasms vs. my wife's orgasms. Being in a sexual relationship where the wife's satisfaction is the only thing that matters, I like to see the ratios. Breaking the year down into quarters, and then giving a final tally at the end of the year seems most appropriate.

This first quarter of the year, I totaled five orgasms. I had intercourse one time at the beginning of the year, three orgasms by way of authorized masturbation, and one authorized accident. My wife has enjoyed eleven orgasms during the first quarter, at least with me performing on her. She says she's not much of a masturbator by herself. All I can do is take her word on it, although it is none of my business what she does without me so I leave it at that. So the total for this quarter is 11:5.

I hope and think that this first quarter of the year is the exception to the rule. There were a lot of things going on regarding work for both of us, so there wasn't as much time as usual to pleasure my wife the way we are used to. Things on that front are starting to wind down, so I think the ratio will be tilted a lot more in her favor in the second quarter.