Monday, January 30, 2012

Making Me Feel As Good As I Make Her Feel

This weekend was a fortunate opportunity to have a date night. I love date nights. They typically include an offsite babysitter so we have the house to ourselves overnight. This helps my wife in letting her hair down when it comes to bedroom play. And we always try to take advantage of it. We watch porn which really gets us in the mood. I am usually told to kneel at the foot of the bed and massage her feet while she watches for awhile. Then I can get into bed and help her with that horny wet pussy that has formed. This weekend was no exception.

When it was time to get in bed with her, her pussy was soaked. I went back and forth between petting her glistening clit while we kissed, and going down to lick the very tasty sweet spot. It seemed like she was especially wet down there. It looked so moist and welcoming. Maybe it's because I hadn't been inside in so long, but it was indeed as slippery, warm, fragrant, and overall good as a pussy could be. She told me she wished I could fuck her. I agreed to the point of actually asking if I could try. She asked how close I was, and I didn't lie. I told her that it was likely to produce an accident. She gave a look that said "oh darn, I guess you're not trying tonight". No matter, though. I wasn't expecting it anyway since the agreement. And besides, the lifelike dildo was within reach. I got it lubed up and put it up against her clit. As I started to rub up and down, she let out a moan. I could tell she didn't want to wait any longer to get
fucked, so I entered her with it. Her moan this time indicated that she was finally getting what she wanted. So I proceeded to take her to heaven. She didn't hold back her moans of pleasure since we were alone in the house, but she was indeed being pleased at a very high level. Ever since the dildo came back into play, the orgasms have been more intense than usual. And just like the other couple of times, she kept repeating how good this one was after she came.

After she recovered from what seemed like as earth shattering as a sexual experience she could have, she told me she wanted me to feel as good as I just made her feel. She was still intoxicated by her post orgasmic bliss. She asked me what she could do for me to make me feel good like she felt. I think I could have just entered her and released, ending the entire agreement and dealing with the regrets we'd both have later. But instead, I decided to reinforce the new status quo. I told her all I wanted from her is to be denied such a good feeling until after she fucks her friend again. We cuddled a little before finally going to sleep. The next morning, still alone our house, I took the opportunity to give her a pedicure. I was energized and eager to do chores for her all day too. And she also liked how much I wanted to cuddle that day as well. It was obvious that letting me come in any capacity would have been a mistake.

There is such an incredible amount of irony in the fact that the feeling of ecstasy my sexual frustration and denial creates is equal to that of my wife's orgasms. I'm sure that eventually I will regret this decision and become overly anxious to be a real man for her in bed. It will probably be too late, though. My wife will get accustomed to having such pampering and want to keep me this way. And just like she turned a once given right to see her topless into a very rare privilege, it will be all my fault.

Thursday, January 26, 2012

From the Old Blog- Cuckold Angst: It's Real (11/06/2010)

Some of the things on my last blog were of value to my writings, so I am going to slip in an old entry from time to time. In the spirit of my latest arrangement with my wife, I think this one I wrote about cuckold angst is fitting.

It has been talked about in the cuckold community. Jinxypie explains it well on her blog. I always wondered before I was cuckolded how I'd be able to handle it. And after last night, I experienced firsthand why cuckold angst may be the worst part of living in a cuckold relationship.

My wife had told me last week that she was planning something special for me in bed for being so good lately. I had asked her if it was something I could request, like seeing her boobs or receiving a blow job, but she told me that I would find out when it was time. That time came last night. I asked what I was allowed to do. She told me I was going to be allowed to come earlier than scheduled. I asked if I was going to be allowed to see her with her top off, but she didn't like how greedy I was being. She directed me to go take off my CB3000 and meet her back in bed.

After doing so and climbing into bed wearing pink cotton string bikini panties, my wife and I started making out. It was hot and heavy, and it was proving to be too much for me to handle. She was as gorgeous as ever, wearing a tank top that accentuated her ample breasts. As the kissing went on, she reached down to my crotch to rub my penis. The sheer touch from her hand was proving to be too much, so I had to pull away for fear of ejaculation. She was becoming disappointed at this. She then said "This isn't even going to be fun for me."

Now, usually, this to me is her playful way of domination. But this time it felt much different. It felt as though she really wasn't into this at all. Her pussy wasn't getting wet from my touch. She didn't seem receptive to my kisses. It was evident that she needed to play with my dick to get more into the sexy feeling. I couldn't even give her that. I asked if she'd let me have sex with her twice in the night so that I could be able to last the second time. She quickly responded, "No. I'm already tired."

I'll be honest. In all of our marriage and all of the kinky games we've played over the years, this was the most genuinely awkward I've ever felt with her. I went down on her and she was significantly dry. I lapped away and she wasn't moaning like usual. I was becoming afraid. Afraid that she was starting to lose interest in me altogether. In my head, I told myself "of course you idiot, you're the one who let her get fucked by someone else". My mind continued to race, and not in a good way.

I decided that I was going to try my best to enter her and pound away, hoping that she would get some form of pleasure out of it. I pulled off my panties, and announced that I was going to fuck her. She didn't smile, rather she looked at me indifferently. As I made my way between her legs, I pathetically felt the first sign of my orgasm. Then I fumbled to get inside. I was shooting my load as I entered, but I bucked furiously, the way she described her boyfriend doing to her a few weeks ago. She started taking pleasure in it, her face lit up as she took the pounding. It wasn't much, and I soon became limp, but she was now in the mood. I went back down on her, and she was moaning and loving it. I made her come soon after.

As we cuddled, the inevitable cuckold angst started to set in. I admitted to her that I was ashamed of my performance. Again, like last time, she told me that I did fine. I said that lately I have been worried about her not wanting me anymore, as stupid as it seems. She then consoled me and said that as usual, real life can always hamper the mood, stress at work, etc. When I again mentioned my feeble performance, she said she knew this was just a chastity game game that manipulated my ability to perform and that she thought this was what I wanted. I apologized for sounding so paranoid. It seems that the cuckold angst had gotten the best of me.

As many years as we have been doing this, the fact that she now has a sexual relationship with another man plays nasty tricks with your mind. It really felt this time like she was losing interest in me. But as I reflect on how it all happened last night, it was actually pretty hot. I now understand that cuckold angst is something to be taken very seriously, without making snap decisions. I'm glad I didn't get even more paranoid and suggest we should stop the "game" altogether. I strongly suggest every man considering living a cuckold lifestyle to take heed to this message. And the women to remember that these will very emotional times for the husband, but he can be calmed with encouraging words. I really can't stress how much harder it is than I thought.

Monday, January 23, 2012

The Saga of No Intercourse Begins

I enjoyed a great time in bed with my wife last night. I also got to release after three weeks of denial. This post was going to be about my experience being sent to the bathroom to masturbate, but I was lucky enough to stroke myself in front of her.

It all started on a night when she was really in the mood. A short session of making out was all it took for her to get wet. After so many years of being married to her, I am very much in tune with her body and how it reacts sexually. She was horny last night, and I was mesmerized by her curvy body in her silk nightie. With her panties starting to get significantly damp, I pulled out her lifelike, 7 inch dildo. Just like the days when I would start to dry hump her about this time, I instead laid the dildo up against her damp pantied crotch and grinded. After all, the agreed upon plan was for my penis to be completely substituted by the dildo. Her reaction was that of excitement and she became even more horny.

Eventually, it was time to stop teasing her and I pulled off her panties. That is when she said she wanted it inside of her. I shoved my cyberskin twin in my mouth to get it wet for her, which she has admitted she finds hot. Then I proceeded to fuck her with it. Her earliest impressions of dildo play were that they seem to go in deeper than she'd like, so like I did a couple of weeks ago, I concentrated on a better position and depth that seemed to solve the issue and work like magic. She couldn't stop saying how good it felt. She was approaching orgasm quickly and her pussy lubricated the dildo more and more as the dildo fucked and fucked. A couple of sensual caresses on her clit with my thumb and she could take no more. She clinched, shuddered, and collapsed, holding my thumb on her clit and the dildo inside of her.

Once she sat back up, it was my turn. The event had me as hard as ever. My hot wife's cute little foot made its way to my pink panty-encased boner. I told her I was so close to coming. That is when she pulled her foot away and told me to jack off for her. I took out my boner and stroked it. Truth be told, the command to jack off was what sent me over the edge, but my hand helped with the sensation. I tried to catch three weeks worth of come in my other hand, but the mess ran down to the sheets where I would be sleeping.

Once I cleaned everything up and put away her toy, we cuddled and reflected on what transpired. She complimented me in my improving technique with the dildo and repeated how good it was. She also took notice on how excited I seemed to be by watching her get fucked silly. The intensity of our sex last night may have been enough encouragement to stick with the plan indefinitely. We will see. As I type this one day later, I am already just as horny as before I came. It will be a long three weeks.

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Playing With Fire

After my wife told me that my sex life was basically going to be reduced to that of a masturbating teenager, it took about a week to get over the emotional high which news of that nature can bring to a submissive male. Now it is time to think in terms of reality. In all likelihood, my fate isn't completely sealed. I can probably have intercourse with her in the near future because she will want it a lot sooner than she'll see her fuck buddy next. And as much enthusiasm as she showed the night she proclaimed I was cut off, she has easily let hard rules slide in the past when in the middle of a passionate sex session.

The big question for me is whether or not I should encourage her and help her stick to the rules. All it would take is a couple of times where I would re-enforce her during signs of weakness, reminding her of the advantages and reassuring her that I'm ready to make that commitment. She would eventually take my cue and turn it into absolute reality, the likes of which would eventually eliminate my choice in the matter. So am I really ready to do that?

As you can see, the picture above is from Cuckold Me Now, a website that has some pretty cool cuck videos if you like it extreme. Those of you just getting into the lifestyle or wanting to that are interested in extreme cuckolding, you probably look at the picture and think, "That cuck is so lucky. I'd love to live like that". But think about if that opportunity was presented to you right now. That you could change your life and live as a cuckold in chastity. Of course, you would have no control over your wife's sex life or your own orgasms. You would have to look yourself in the mirror every day and know you've been brought down a level in life. Not to mention, being humiliated in front of another man. Would you sign the dotted line right away? The reality of relinquishing so much control sinks in and you hesitate.

It is a situation similar to mine. If I told my wife to be diligent in her treatment of me, I would in turn be sealing my own fate. It would be my own fault if I couldn't handle the fact that I wasn't allowed to orgasm with my wife. It would be my own fault that my hand would be the only pleasure my penis would receive, sending me back to the days when I would stroke myself wondering what it was like to feel a woman. Should I strive for that, or should I save myself from the regrets that would arise down the road? At this moment, I'm leaning towards playing with fire and risking the burns that will come from it.

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Getting what I wanted, and some that I didn't

I am just going to get right to it, because something happened the other night that was a huge surprise. So much so that I wasn't even sure if my wife was serious when she put these new rules into effect. I had trouble sleeping that night thinking of the new standard. And even though I wanted to blog about it right away, I felt the need to take some time, let it sink in, and make sure we she was planning on following through with this before crying wolf to all of you. I'm still not sure if she's going to stick with it.

So the other night, my wife had called me on her way home. She was in one of those moods. She wanted sex. At the time, I had been thinking a lot about my wishes to go back to a more chastity based lifestyle, at least for a little while. I decided that I would use the dildo on her and see where it took things. I got out the 7 inch realistic dildo that had given her several orgasms in the past, and some lube. I put it near the bed before she got home. We hadn't gotten the dildo out in such a long time. She mentioned that although it did a much better job at fucking her than I did, it didn't quite have the feel of the real thing. Our use of it dwindled. But I was going to break it out again and remind her of what she has been missing since her last meeting with her boyfriend.

We finally got to bed, and started making out. Soon she was on her stomach and I had my tongue buried in her pussy and then her ass. I warmed her up until she was really wet. That is when I started getting the dildo ready for her. All lubed up, I stuck it in slowly. She let out a sigh of pleasure. As I started moving it in and out of her wet pussy, she eventually got up on all fours and rocked back and forth on it. Later she would admit that she thought it was my dick in her at first, but quickly realized what it was because it stayed hard in her for longer than a minute. Soon the rhythm of the dildo fucking her, her fucking back on it, and my fingers massaging her clit, sent her into orgasm. She gripped the realistic cock with her legs as she collapsed, and shook a while longer before finally letting go. She then told me how good it was.

It was at that time that I said something that I may deeply regret. I was hard as a rock in a pair of pink panties and my precum had formed a huge wet spot. With my thoughts being completely controlled by my penis, I asked her if she would like the dildo to take the place of my penis for awhile, until after she sees her fuck buddy again. As in, my penis not being allowed inside her until after he gets another chance to fuck her. It was a hypothetical question that I didn't think she would even answer. I thought I'd get a rise out of her while also showing how much I was enjoying being denied.

But then she said ok. And this wasn't just a usual ok. Her tone of voice suggested that she loved the idea. I didn't expect this at all. She had always wanted to feel me inside of her, even if it was for ten seconds. I asked her if she was serious and she said yes. She told me that it may be a long time before she sees her FB again, and that I could be in for a long haul. If I haven't explained before in the blog, he lives in another town and they have to plan well in advance. This could take months. I think I could have backed out right then and said I was just kidding. Instead, I felt brave and said "If that's alright with you". She then said it was.

By that time, we had gotten in a position to cuddle, her sexually satisfied and me still sporting a boner in a pair of panties soaked with precum. At that moment, I realized that I never thought about how I was going to come if it wasn't inside of her. I asked her "What about when I get to come?". I was thinking maybe she would give me hand jobs or let me jack off on her legs or feet or something.

"You can do that by yourself, once every three weeks", she said with a laugh. To which I asked if she was serious and she said yes.

"Like, without you present?", I asked, trying to understand exactly what this meant.

"Right. You can jack off in the bathroom like a teenager", she said, and laughed some more. I was in total shock. She was into this, and laughing about it. There was a little more small talk about it, mainly me telling her that this was turning me on whether I'll regret it or not, but we eventually got tired and went to sleep. That is, as much as I could sleep with that big news dropped on me.

The next day, I had trouble imagining that she would go through with this. I asked her if she was just playing and she said no. So I asked why she was laughing and she said she thinks it is funny that she can make me do things like that. I agreed, but was still pretty stunned at all of this. It seems that she is more into this than I thought. I knew we had taken a break after the first time she cuckolded me and things never really got back to where they were as far as her controlling me long term. Maybe she's just ready to go back to those days. She definitely seems more comfortable now and seems to be tapping into that teasing style that I knew she had.

I think I am ready too. Like I said in the past, our full-time roles as dominant wife and cuckold husband in chastity were powerful, and perhaps overwhelming. After over a year long break from the hardcore practice of it, I think we are going into this a little wiser, and a little more prepared for how strong this can be. I may be getting all worked up over nothing, because she may not hold to this plan. But if so, I will not be having intercourse with my wife for a long time.

Sunday, January 8, 2012

Top 10 Favorite Internet Dommes

Pulled from my old blog, here is a list of the my favorite Dommes on the net. This is just a list for fun, ideas, and open for suggestions by others
who may have favorites themselves. Who knows, the list may be fluid as
there are so many out there that I may have forgotten a few.

10) Lady Cheyenne-

Since my early years of surfing the web for Femdom content, there was Lady
Cheyenne. Another genuinely beautiful woman who could laugh sadistically
while pushing the thresholds of her slaves. And I mean very, very
beautiful. I remember a pic of her that had a guy dressed as a sissy
maid, painting her toenails while she kicked back with a beer. There are
probably several women that can put subbies through their paces the way
she does, but I have to admit that she rises above them because I am
mesmerized by her beauty.

9) Princess Kali-

This is another Domme who could easily be a woman in your normal everyday
life. Her mean streak is one of the best. I think the thing that hooked
me with her was during a scene where she was swatting a guy's ass with
one of those electric fly swatters that shock. He was whining from the
shocks and she was mocking his whimpers. All of her scenes are of top
caliber. It would be an honor to submit to whatever she desires.

8) Mistress T-

A beautiful woman, but what puts her in the elite is the type of content
she brings. It is in the form of extreme cuckoldry. The first time I saw
her, she was making a cuck lick the cum from another man off of her
feet. She also played the role of a strict Mommy who has caught her
naughty son in her panties. It seems like she's not afraid to push any
boundaries. Her ability to be vocal about it is icing on the cake.

7) Maitresse Madeline-

This is a hot blonde Domme who plays right into my submissive wheelhouse. In
her scenes, she is putting a poor guy through the paces, locking him up
in a chastity device, telling the sub about her dates with real men,
making him grovel, the list goes on and on. What attracts me to her is
her sadistic nature and imagination coupled with knockout cheerleader
looks. Her sub is very lucky.

6) Goddess Lexi-

I'll admit that her looks play a big part of making it this far up my list. She is gorgeous beyond words, and those of you who have seen her know what I'm talking about. Oh, and it doesn't hurt either that she turns men into sissy slaves, puts them in chastity, and makes them suck each others cocks or pimps them out to others. The way she carries herself in her stunning beauty while humiliating men just to get a laugh, that's just a recipe for success.

5) Goddess Starla-

This woman demonstrates the true power one can have in a Wife-led marriage.
She has a website with her husband, and they reveal what goes on in
their sex life, including chastity, teasing and denial, foot worship,
and even some cuckold play. It seems that as their relationship evolved,
her husband Randy has become more and more of a sissy. Most of the
videos they have done now show him in all female clothes, hair styled
like a female, and complete with makeup.

But Randy is living the ultimate slave husband's dream, because Goddess
Starla takes great joy in putting him through the paces. She will take
him out of his chastity device, and as she strokes his long suffering
cock, she gives him a little pep talk about controlling himself and not
cumming that is both loving (almost motherly) and authoritative, which
would make any man try his best not to disappoint her. He often can't
hold back and cums, but I don't know who could control himself when
someone that beautiful is touching you that way. If you haven't seen her
videos, you really need to look her up.

4) Goddess Melanie-

Princess Melanie described in one word, in the truest sense of the word,
Sadistic. She is a master of cbt, and has a sub who endures far more
than most other subs would. Lots of ballbusting, forced orgasms, and
post orgasm ballbusting, along with chastity and some cuckold themes.
The pain he goes through is probably worth the reward of being under
such a beautiful Goddess's feet. She is perfectly gorgeous, demands
utmost obedience, and can punish you beyond your limits, the criteria
for the perfect Domme. So why would she be this low on the list? Well,
quite frankly, she actually scares me. I admit it, I would be too scared
to ever cross her path. For those of you into the extreme, she is worth
a look.

3) Goddess Brianna Beach-

Brianna Beach started in the industry by doing some of the more basic,
vanilla porn. To be honest, even though she has always been really hot
in all of her scenes, she was quite forgettable to me considering the
amount of women in the business as well as my aversion to most vanilla
porn. About a year ago, I notice this really hot, mean blonde on
Clubdom. She is very vocal and sexy at the same time. Administering
cbt to men as well as making guys in chastity lick up other men's cum
from her feet, she quickly catapulted into my top ten attractions on the internet. Now she has her own site and clips store centered around
foot worship, one of my favorite things on Earth. The way she treats
her foot slaves with such authority, making them feel like scared little boys or even puppies, seems like she was born for this. She may have
the most perfect legs in the business as well. All of this solidified
her standing in my top three.

2) Skye Blue- No link available

The first time I saw Skye Blue was in a movie called 'Date with a
Mistress'. Besides giving me such a great first impression, it was
perhaps the most intense performance I ever saw of her. She was beating
the hell out of a guy, and finally let him worship her feet. All I could
think was how much it was worth the price he paid for that reward. It
was the beginning of my admiration for this overly gorgeous Goddess who
commanded the utmost obedience.

I saw a lot of foot fetish videos of Skye Blue, mostly dominant towards
either her longtime bff Summer Cummings or an assortment of submissive
males. She always had a knack for taking control and putting the fear
into her subs' eyes. Her beauty put them in a trance of lustful
submission, and her method of dominance had them thinking twice about
why they ever agreed to submit. I never went away disappointed at Ms.
Blue's performances because she loved what she did and she always makes
sure she is the best at what she does even today, as a producer of porn
for women.

I wish Skye Blue still did domination videos. She is greatly missed by many more than just myself I'm sure.

1) January Seraph-

Is it the wicked look in her eyes? Is it the sadistic smile that dares you
to submit further and at the same time telling you that you have no
choice? Is it the way she talks down to you that quickly establishes who
is boss and who is the servant? Or is it the perfect combination of all
three that makes Mistress January my favorite Domme of all time? I
can't really tell you the exact answer to that question, but when I
watch Mistress January, I want to endure any type of torture that would
please and entertain her. When she looks a guy in the eyes while
performing extreme cbt on him, it makes me think that I could endure the
extreme pain he's going through just so she could look at me that way.
In a scene with her, I would want to give such an effort beyond my own
threshold just to please her, and I wish I knew why exactly. But she
really does it for me.

The funny thing is, I know for a fact that she's actually been dominated by
Maitresse Madeline, who is number 6 on my list. Which may make you
wonder why Mistress January is number 1 yet has subbed, many times, to
people I deem inferior to her. Well, none of that matters to me because
when Mistress January dommes, she dommes the best. Nobody else can do it
like her. And when she's subbing, well she's still passionate about it.
So I'm also in love with her passion. Who knows, maybe she has a spell
on me or something, but for my money, nobody compares to Mistress

Ok, there you have it. Please feel free to comment and add your own submissions.

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Thoughts For the New Year

The more time goes on, the less I feel the need to make a New Year's resolution when it comes to vanilla life. I do try to be the best person I can all the time and I have a diet and exercise routine that doesn't need a shot in the arm every time January 1st rolls around.

Then there is my alternative, kinky side. I always like to set goals when it comes to having a fun and spicy sex life. A few years ago on my former blog, I set a number of nearly unrealistic goals that dealt with being a better submissive husband. To give an example, I think one resolution was to never touch myself in an arousing way all year. You get the point. I don't think any of the goals were met directly, but I did improve in a lot of areas such as the aforementioned masturbation as well as communication with my wife.

In 2010, I reached some big resolutions like finally being cuckolded and being allowed the least amount or orgasms I can ever remember in a calender year. Still, those were not really things I had complete control over. That is why I look at the new year as a starting point for a new set of hopes rather than resolutions. Although I consider myself a vanilla lifestyle-living man with some extreme kinks in the bedroom, I am hoping that 2012 puts me in a constant state of arousal fueled by orgasm denial, and subsequent submission to my wife.

She has been hinting around that she might be ready to put me on the original schedule of one orgasm every three weeks. Here is an explanation for this reasoning. In the days when she wanted sex two to three times a week, I was better conditioned to provide a longer sexual experience for her because I was in fact orgasming at least twice a week. Now that she is wanting sex on average of once a week, maybe once every ten days, the intervals between my orgasms maintain my sensitivity, and therefore keep my sexual performance as inadequate. She notices this, and may decide to just go with the chastity since she knows she can get away with a lot more when I'm constantly horny. And I think I am ready for that. I would like to see if I can break my own record for least amount of orgasms in a calendar year.

I also hope to be cuckolded at a more constant rate. It has been months since the last time due to various reasons, none of which has to do with eagerness on the part of myself, my wife, or her guy. We all hope that things open up in our schedules to provide more time for it. Which would mean a more strict enforcement of me wearing condoms. Wow, I can't believe I am wanting to go through with this, but I am.

Last but not least is the content of my blog in the year 2012. Though I cannot control the amount of free time I have for it, I hope to be able to keep people reading. If I haven't said it before I will say it now. I have a lot of kinky thoughts and ideas. This blog will not only be about my sex life, but also about the kinks that go through my head for people who have those same thoughts and ideas. I am thinking of reviewing and reporting on some of my favorite reference points on the web, and I am going to re-post an entry from my last blog which listed my top ten favorite Dommes, updated of course. I don't know how many people like or read my blog, but I hope to entertain those that do while also expanding my audience.

Best of luck to all of you in the new year. May your hopes for 2012 be met as well.