Thursday, June 30, 2011

Lady Barbara

Surfing along, I came across (no pun intended) a video clip of a woman who quickly caught my eye. Her name is Lady Barbara, and she is a mature leg and foot fetish model/porn star. She is from Germany. I'm not usually as fond of the foreign stuff because I'm a big fan of really vocal domination, so a different language doesn't help with that. But with Lady Barbara, her curvy legs, mature to the point of stern mother-like looks, and naturally dominant demeanor, the visual is all it takes for me to fall under the spell.

She has many video clips that you can find on, but the ones I like are the foot worshipping slave vids. My favorite is a clip where she's out in her backyard on one of those long outdoor chairs lounging while a slave wearing only a collar, leash, high heels, and a small apron is on his knees worshipping her feet. She is telling him commands which I cannot understand, but you can tell she is in complete control. After the slave massages and worships her feet for awhile, he is finally allowed to jack off on them. He strokes his small penis until a huge load shoots onto her perfectly tanned feet. Then she immediately lifts them up to his face as he licks up his mess.

This portrays what my ultimate cuckold life would be like, assuming she has sex with other men while me, the husband, is denied that pleasure. It made me think that I could actually, in real life, handle having such limited access to my wife if my rare release dates were played out in scenes that sexy.

So I just wanted to share this reference with everyone since it was so mind blowing to me.

Monday, June 27, 2011

Why Sissify?

Sissification can be very misunderstood at first glance. A narrow-minded assumption that anyone who wants to be a sissy must be a closet homosexual is far off track.

I've gotten into arguments on the internet with people who don't agree with me on certain subjects, and a lot of the time they will try to fire back with, "Well at least I don't like wearing panties, you little bitch", and then think they've automatically won the argument. I know, right? Such a shallow assessment. But to be fair, it's not like they should understand why a guy wants to dress in lingerie if they themselves have no prior exposure to it or desire to learn about it.

There are many reasons that guys dress up like sissies. You've already got your people who have genuine issues which result in being transgendered. We will set that aside, because in my opinion, that has nothing to do with the kink. What I know is why I myself like it. And, just like cuckolding, it dispels the myth that all sissies are closet homosexuals and pathetic wimps.

The reason guys like myself find arousal in being sissified is because it goes against who we really are. A lot of times in society we are told to be masculine, perhaps athletic, and competitive in all aspects of the real world. But if we are into kink, we love to do what seems so wrong, so naughty, so opposite of everyday life.

Instead of sustaining the persona of the men we are, at times we want to act out and be slutty sissies. Instead of going out every day and trying to make the world ours, sometimes we just want to dress up and be the world's bitch. Hell, I'd love to dress up as a French maid and serve drinks to my wife and her lover if they'd agree to it. That doesn't mean it's who I really am, but I can't think of anything more degrading, more humiliating, or more arousing.

If wearing panties, stockings and a garter belt was normal for me to do, I would probably get no excitement out of it. But it is a humiliating thing to me, and I derive pleasure from the humiliation and the helplessness of not being the macho man in control. I don't know why I do, but it's true. So line up those cocks, boys. I'm all dolled up and ready to be humiliated!

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Why would somebody actually want to be a cuckold?

It's usually the most commented thread in any kinky forum. You've probably seen this question the most in every cuckold related discussion. But not only is it hard to explain to someone why we want to be a cuckold, it's hard to understand it ourselves.

There are a hundred reasons why a man is sexually aroused when his wife has sex with another man. So let's put the bullshit stereotype that "Men just want to explore their homosexual side" to rest. Sure there is a small percentage that get off on partaking in bisexual activity, but most of the time even that is more because they are doing something so taboo, so degrading, humiliating, and damaging to their ego that they are getting off on the principal of it more than anything. Anyway, as I was saying, the many reasons out there differ from individual to individual.

I've tried to understand the true reason why I enjoy it, but I'm still not sure I know the real reason. But one big thing I enjoy is that it makes me feel like I'm in high school again. The seemingly sex starved, perpetually horny teenager, who admires the ultra hot and popular cheerleader from afar. And my wife was that type in high school so it's even easier to correlate. And just as a teenager when I had no chance of bagging the popular girl, all I can do is dream and lust after my wife while she does her thing, having sex with her boyfriend. It's a hot scenario. And then when I do get to have sex with her after all of the cuckold play, it's that much more amazing.

Who knows? Maybe we all get our cuckolding desire from the sperm competition theory. Maybe every other reason we give only caters to ourselves but is still an extension of the same basic primal urge. No matter what the reason, I love it, love it, love it.

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Be careful what you wish for

When I discovered Female Domination, I was blown away by the concept. I had fallen completely in lust for the idea of being nothing but a slave for a woman. Naturally, I dreamed of living my entire life in slavery. No rights, no control, just a sexy Goddess making me do whatever she wants.

Even in the beginnings of my vanilla relationship with my wife, I had thoughts of what it would be like to serve her. I never thought I could actually handle her cuckolding me, but I still thought about some of the soft domination she was capable of. After a few years of marriage, I started to get comfortable with the idea that she really could be my Mistress, and even my Cuckoldress. When I confided in my wife that I wanted to be her servant, her willingness to try it made things that much more realistic and possible. We had some great times experimenting as Mistress and slave. The experimenting became routine, and the routine became our lifestyle.

That is when I started to think about how far I could take this lifestyle. I started to think that I was ready to become an extreme cuckold. That I could handle being denied sex forever while my wife had all the lovers she wanted. When I told my wife about how hot I thought something like cuckolding could be, she actually smiled at the idea. She said she'd like to do something, but it would take time for this to sink in. After a few years, she finally got in touch with an ex boyfriend and it didn't take long before they were meeting for sex.

When I was first cuckolded, all seemed well. My dreams were coming true before my very eyes. Then something happened. My dreams were actually coming true, in the not-so-fantasy way. She was wanting less and less of me, denying me sex of all sorts, at the same time doing whatever her boyfriend wanted sexually. She bossed me around even more, and even in front of vanilla friends. I started to freak out a little. After all the years of thinking about this, I didn't understand why I wasn't enjoying it.

Then I realized something. I am still fascinated with cuckoldry even in its extreme form. I am fascinated with the idea of cuckoldry. That doesn't necessarily mean I should be a little bitch of a cuckold for the rest of my entire life. Though I tried to follow in the footsteps of some great cuck boys who have taken their natural place, I have too much Alpha male in myself to live life that way. I had to talk with my wife.

It was great to let my wife know what was on my mind. She said that she likes both sides of me, and agreed that things of this nature should only be an enhancement of our sex life. She keeps her visits with her boyfriend spread out, and we only practice D/s in intervals. Things seemed to have gotten even better.

The phrase 'be careful what you wish for' seems to be overused many times over. But it is the most truthful thing to tell someone who wants to become a complete slave or cuckold. I hear about a lot of Dommes who have subs back out of things because they obviously couldn't handle it. They were in love with the idea of being a slave and have to learn the hard way. My advice is that a good balance of your kinks is just as important as the balance in your life.

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

This is who I am

It didn't take long in my life to know that I was more perverse than your average person. As far back as I can remember, kinky thoughts held a good part of my mind. Though society taught me to suppress those dirty thoughts, it was indeed part of me.

I was a very young boy when my foot fetish surfaced. My tan, blonde aunt would visit us and kick off her flip flops. I was mesmerized, and thought of any excuse I could to touch her feet. And when I was eight years old, I experienced the first sign of my fetish for Female domination. It was an episode of Gilligan's Island no less. Gilligan found himself on the ground with Ginger's feet in his face. That very night and for days I would constantly fantasize about a utopian world where the men would always have to kiss the feet of any woman in their path. It was such a non-traditional and unconventional thought at that time, especially at my age. But my fascination with Femdom would never go away.

I also had a very strong love for all things sexual in nature, even though I never had the opportunities to act on them. As a teenager, I loved sneaking nudie mags and would occasionally would find the more graphic ones like Hustler. Those were my favorite because I'd always find really good, nasty content like interracial, sloppy bj's, titty fucking, etc. I think I had a higher sex drive than the others my age, or just a dirtier mind.

When I was around 18 or 19, I remember seeing some porn where this woman was dominating a guy over the phone, and it seemed like the most erotic thing I'd ever seen. My fascination with Femdom got even stronger. I knew that I would eventually need to act this out.

Then, back in college, I found a discarded issue of Nugget Magazine in my dorm. For those who don't know, it was one of the premiere fetish magazines at the time. It had everything I'd dreamed of and more. Foot worship, chastity, ball busting, cuckolding, you name it. I was now completely exposed to all of my greatest fantasies, and there was no turning back.

Once the internet became popular, I had a constant flow of fetish content at my fingertips. I learned more about all of the things that I loved. My favorite things were foot worship and interracial sex pictures and stories. But I had also read a lot about chastity, forced feminization and forced bi, etc. Coming out of college, I decided I would go see a Dominatrix. I learned quickly that I wasn't a true masochist, and perhaps I was too young at the time to relax and enjoy it because I quickly backed off of that.

Shortly afterward, I met the love of my life. So beautiful, smart, and assertive, and she wanted me so badly that I'm not even sure I had a choice. I think what made me fall for her was the fact that she was so assertive and dominant, and we ended up together, got married, and hopefully we're together for life. She had no idea of my fetishes until about five years into the marriage when I couldn't hold back any longer about my desires to serve as her submissive. To my pleasant surprise, she liked the idea, and listened to my admission of all my fetishes with an open mind. Though she didn't share all of the same interests, she did like the idea of putting me in a chastity device, turning me into her servant, and eventually cuckolding me.

After experimenting for years, we learned that we're not really a 24/7 D/s couple. Maybe I'm not a true submissive even though my fetish for being submissive is strong. I am fond of every aspect of the power exchange, and if the need should arise, being a Dom excites me as well. So we spread things around and tinker with different roles to keep the marriage spicy.

What I've learned is that you shouldn't live in the shadow of your own desires forever. You have to take that chance and make your life reflect who you really are. I feel like the luckiest man in the world for finding that partner who wants to share these kinks and fetishes. The perfect wife, the perfect life.