When I last left you, my wife and I decided that she wanted me to be able to perform for her in bed, and my biggest concern was to stay in a submissive mindset while enjoying as many orgasms as I wanted. But the fact of the matter is that as we started down this path, the concerns went well beyond that. I was becoming so sexually satisfied that the spark didn't feel present as it had before. We even had a weekend getaway which included several toys and had sex three times in a row, but I was what seemed as too sexually satisfied.
I was also still feeling the insecurities of being cuckolded, as explained in my previous entry. I found myself trying to compete with my wife's past lovers by trying to be the greatest she had ever seen in bed. I was putting too much pressure on myself and that weekend was definitely not as magical as any of the ones we've ever had. To top it off, I was having trouble staying erect on our final go. This made me realize that, yet again, something had to change.
It had been a week since that episode and I was still rather drained physically, and perhaps mentally. But I was able to perform as we were in the mood to have sex for the first time since our weekend getaway. Now I won't lie, I initiated this new idea to her. But when I had gotten my wife off, I asked her if she thought I deserved to have an orgasm this time. I told her that I was ashamed of my performance that last time, and would agree to whatever she thought I deserved. As if I were reading her mind, she immediately stated that she agreed with me, and that I needed to be back on the three week chastity schedule. A sense of relief washed over me. Nothing had felt completely right between us for months. All I know is that being kept on a schedule or at least being denied during most of our sexual encounters was a familiarity that I missed in our lives. It was a very sweet moment as well, but I'm not going to deny that being told I wasn't allowed to come gave me an erection much stronger than any I've had in these past trying months.
It has been about a month since then and, even though I've always known through years of experience about the benefits of chastity, I'm surprised at how much better things feel between us. And also that this is less a kinky feeling and more of a life changer. I'm not caged but rather on the honor system. The devices seemed to have had an effect on my erections during long term wear as well as my sensitivity. Since my wife wants regular intercourse with me now, I am learning to have stamina in a denied state rather than my past problem of keeping a submissive demeanor while being drained. But I assure you this is a much better challenge to take on. The devices are used only for punishment now. She has me wearing panties again, and we even use cuckold talk in the bedroom. We are still not back to the point of going through with it again and perhaps never will be. But I wouldn't freak out, and would even find it a turn on, if she wanted to.
I feel like this blog has actually reached a happy ending of sorts. As you can see, I haven't been much for blogging this year. I do hope to experience some great things that would warrant an update, but who knows? I'll always be around one way or another, whether it's reading my favorite blogs or just having something flood my horny mind and compel me to write. So I guess I'll see you then!