Friday, December 19, 2014
This entry was a long time coming. In my original post on this subject, The Interracial Phenomenon (found here), I felt I did a pretty good job of conveying my thoughts. But there's actually more to the story for me. I've debated saying something about the extreme fantasies I have about this subject for well over a year now, but due to recent events, I feel the need to express what has become a major part of my kinks.
Years ago, when my wife and I were first discussing the idea of cuckolding to add to our Femdom games, she made it clear that she didn't understand the overwhelming interracial influence in the lifestyle. She then added that she wasn't really into black guys, so I accepted it, despite my love for the interracial angle, and moved on. I soon found that being cuckolded wasn't tied to my IR fetish; Cuckolding by itself introduced me to an unprecedented level of arousal. Being cuckolded showed me that interracial sex wasn't such a big deal compared to this ultimate act of spousal degradation and emasculation that gets me off so easily.
Although my IR fetish was somewhat suppressed after that realization, I continued to love interracial porn just as I love Femdom porn. I also began to enjoy looking from afar at a lifestyle that has been present for a very long time, but was emerging with its own name: The 'Queen of Spades' movement - white women with a sexual preference for black men.
Frankly, the first time I heard the term 'Queen of Spades', it took me by surprise that someone would be so bold as to use what I always thought was a derogatory term towards African Americans (spade) to define a sexual group. I was never going to use that term, thinking it would flame out by itself. But more and more people began to use the term - black men, white women, you name it. It has actually become a badge of honor for many white women, proud of permanently marking their bodies with 'Queen of Spades' tattoos. I'm not so naive to think that there aren't still people offended by it, but it has become a household name in the swing and cuckold lifestyle. I won't go around using this term everywhere, but I will use it if the context fits.
I've found these white women who prefer black men to be a major turn on for me. In fact, the more exclusive to black men they are, the hotter they are. Going back to what I said in my first interracial blog entry, the thought of a woman choosing a man that I cannot be gives a connotation, perhaps subconsciously, that I am inferior. And feeling inferior turns me on. For some weird reason, when a woman claims to be "black only", meaning "no white men allowed", she becomes a Goddess in my eyes; the ultimate unattainable woman.
All of this was still tucked away in my fantasy world when, several weeks ago, something unforeseen happened. My wife and I were searching for porn on the internet to spice up the bedroom activities that night. I told her to choose, and to my surprise, she chose a Byron Long video where he was fucking a guy's wife in front of him. I immediately said "I thought you weren't really into black guys". She replied, "Some black guys are hot, plus they have big dicks and know how to fuck." Sure, she was quoting the usual stereotypical jargon, but you have to understand that this wasn't like her. She is picky when it comes to porn. She won't watch something she doesn't want to. I continued to express my surprise, and she assured me as she got wetter that she loved how well Byron was fucking this white wife. My words of surprised shifted to words of encouragement, agreeing with her about how hot black men were when they fuck. She then told me to get her toys.
With no protest, I grabbed the Hitachi and her lifelike dildo and went to town on her as she watched that and several other interracial scenes. Throughout this, she came twice and was thinking of going again, but the exhaustion of a long day eventually won out. I didn't get to come that night, but I was in pure heaven. I could barely sleep with my raging boner and thoughts of what had just occurred. But that is what I call sleep I don't mind losing. The next morning, I told her I was sorry if I got too excited at her having orgasms to interracial porn. She told me that it was ok and that she really enjoyed it. The sincere look in her eyes prompted me to admit that I thought it would be so hot to watch her fuck a hot black guy. With that, she kissed me deeply and we got up for the day.
You better believe that the only thing on my mind for those following days and even weeks was my wife fucking black guys. And my fetish for interracial porn became stronger than ever. It's like I was keeping down this thing that I loved because it wasn't politically correct, because I felt ashamed, and because my wife wasn't into it. With the prospect of my wife being on board with my kink, I couldn't bury it in denial any longer. It brought on a more defined fantasy. I want my wife to be a "Queen of Spades". I want my wife to be "for black men only", even cutting me off from intercourse if needed. I know I've fantasized about being cut off before, but now this new revelation overwhelms any rational thought.
Keep in mind, I fully understand that the saying "Once you go black, you never go back" is not true for everyone. In reality, the "Black Sexual Superiority" angle that such fetishists dwell on is kink driven; a fantasy that doesn't reflect everyone's views. But I am realizing that it is a kink that I'm into as well. I can't help but get aroused at the idea of black men being more desirable to all white women. The idea of the white boys becoming more service oriented in the bedroom; their sex lives being reduced to jacking off to the thoughts and images of their wives having sex with their new men is hot to me.
I've struggled to write these words for quite some time because of the implications being made. Some view this as flat out racist. Others would consider me as having some very deep-seated white guilt that only surfaces in the form of arousal. I don't know the answer to that, and quite frankly, neither do you. All I can tell you is that that I've never had ill thoughts of a person based solely on the color of his or her skin and all you can do is trust me on that. I don't mean any harm toward anybody and I would never push this agenda on anyone who wasn't already into it. I realize my thoughts at this time seem to contradict my previous complaints about interracial cuckold porn (which is still cheesy and usually unwatchable), but I'm realizing that the interracial angle does indeed enhance the cuckolding experience for me.
At the very least, my wife has become an equal opportunity woman when it comes to porn and I know we can play out some interracial fantasies. We have already done some since then. But I am also going to expose her more IR porn and let it be known that it's my favorite. Nothing pushy. Just seeing where it goes. Hopefully we both want it to go in the same direction.