Thursday, October 16, 2014

The Never Ending Cycle of My Sex Life

Phase 1: My wife and I take a break from all things kink, Femdom, and more importantly, chastity. More time is spent on the healthy things in life like friends, family, and hobbies, but vanilla sex in less intervals takes over the bedroom dynamic. I regularly masturbate and keep myself sexually satisfied and am never really horny. If I wait too long before masturbating again, which is usually over 24 hours, I start to get slightly horny and a kinky thought might creep into my mind. I relieve the tension and masturbate the thoughts away.

But my sex life becomes boring and my wife doesn't show much sexual excitement either. Something must be done. So she cuts me off to punish me for my lack of attention to her. At that point I was begging for some excitement anyway, so I quickly comply. The mere idea of being cut off makes me horny already.

Phase 2: The possibilities and ideas seem endless as orgasm denial builds up my libido. My wife starts to look sexier than before. The thought of fucking her excites me more than it had recently, but the thought of another man fucking the woman I took for granted puts me on an unexplainable level of arousal. As the denial builds, the feeling becomes nearly frantic. The sex between us, albeit without traditional intercourse, becomes creative and mind-blowing. Sometimes I am actually cuckolded which adds even more fun. I beg to fuck my wife and come inside of her, and being denied my request drives me insane. I do get the opportunity to release enough to keep my libido healthy, but I am never given enough sexual satisfaction to cause a drop off in my overactive sex drive. This is what we both would consider the pinnacle of our sexual dynamic.

Phase 3: Over time, the strain of being denied a thorough sexual release becomes too much. I need something to curb my sexual appetite, so I turn to porn and flood my brain with images and videos of the things that turn me on most. Any type of porn will do, but those with themes of cuckolding, foot worship, or interracial sex drive me into a frenzy.

Although the kinky sex between my wife and I is still hot, it doesn't satisfy the cravings. The constant stimulus of porn becomes commonplace, and not so intense to watch. But I keep a continuous flow of it like oxygen. I begin to edge myself to keep the intense images fresh and exciting.

Phase 4: Cuckold and interracial porn become so routine that I feel an urgency for my wife to be as insatiable as the hot wives and sluts on the screen. This is what I consider the beginning of the downfall. I change the standard of what I consider the perfect sexy wife to something unrealistic in my world.

To combat a libido that goes from pleasantly frustrated to an almost resentful state, I begin to look at even more kinky porn like sissy hypno videos. To be an actual sissy slut is my version of kink utopia. Nothing I can do in bed with my wife compares in intensity to the thought of her dressing me up in lingerie and choosing a real man to be her lover, treating me as a maid and fluffer.

Phase 5: My wife tires of my hair trigger cock having accidents in my panties and my failed attempts at fucking her without coming immediately, so she allows me more releases. She wants her dick back, so to speak. Granted, I am generally a premature ejaculator, so I am not adding on much time here. But when I get to release regularly, I am at least getting in a good ten to twenty seconds of pounding that she likes. So she just wants twenty seconds? It makes me wonder why she doesn't want more, and use her lifetime hall pass regularly. But by this time, I'm ready for the frustrating feelings to be over. It's good to get some regular pussy again. Which brings us back to Phase 1.

It's a cycle that repeats itself over and over again, and I will never know where I truly belong.

Monday, October 6, 2014

Cut off again

When I left you last, I had proven that porn didn't control my life and I was also having regular sex with my wife as well as masturbating, keeping me completely sexually satisfied. I wasn't really having any horny feelings at all and few kinky thoughts entered my mind. I was enjoying being free of the prison that was orgasm denial, and I wasn't about to change anything. But Mommy had other plans.

Long story short, I am cut off again. I'm being punished for my lack of service and attention. I am not sure how long this will last, but it will prove to be a lifestyle changer of sorts.

But what makes it interesting is that as soon as I was given this punishment, it was like my libido was awakened. I was instantly horny at the boundaries given to me. I always considered the length of orgasm denial as the main culprit of what makes my most intense arousal come alive. But here I was, more or less drained of all sexual tension. Like the switch was in the off position. Upon given the news that I was cut off, I was as horny as if I had been in chastity for a month. It gives a considerable amount of proof that being treated as an inferior is my sexual identity. Chastity only magnifies its effect, or gives it that extra buzz.

I think steering clear of my old porn habits can make things even more intense. I will focus all sexual energy on my wife. Sure, there will be slip-ups, but I will not desensitize myself by living with the constant feed of graphic adult themes and eye candy.

It is just unbelievable how much my demeanor has changed since Mommy brought me back "home".