Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Taking a More Proactive Role

A lot of cuckolds say that they are in it mainly because their wife's pleasure comes first.  I would be lying if I didn't admit that there are some selfish reasons why I enjoy my wife getting fucked by another man.  The humiliation which justifies my submissive stature comes to mind.  But maybe there is some truth to the fact that when she receives an orgasm in a primal, male on female, powerful way that I cannot provide, her satisfaction is my satisfaction.  I mean, why do I subject myself to such denial?  Here she is, the object of my desire.  I absolutely explode when I get to fuck her.  So why do I get even more aroused when my wife denies my throbbing erection the chance to enter her sexy body?  Why don't I just take back what is mine and fuck her, releasing all of this pent up frustration?  Why is it more arousing to me for a more capable man to take care of her instead?

My only answers to these questions could easily be related to my own ability to perform.  It is well known that I am terrible at fucking anymore.  On a good day I might be able to last ten seconds. And on those very rare circumstances that I have been ejaculating regularly and sensitivity isn't the issue, I have trouble staying hard for a decent amount of time.  I simply cannot fuck my wife the way she loves to be fucked, hard and long.  But not only is she missing out on those intense feelings, I myself wish for her to have these intense feelings. There is nothing more arousing to me than the thought of my wife in the throes of ecstasy in the most primal mating ritual known to humankind. Perhaps if I could provide that feeling to her by myself, I would not have such a strong affinity for the cuckold lifestyle.  But to combine my wife having that feeling of utmost raw sexual pleasure with my inherent submissive craving of having another man provide it, is a feeling nothing short of mind blowing for me.

The worst thing about being in chastity (besides the peehole not lining up every time, of course) is that my wife and I are not in sync with each other when it comes to how we prioritize sex.  She has orgasms whenever she wants, so she takes sex for granted.  Being satisfied can put the want for sex on very low priority.  I, on the other hand, have sex on my mind the majority of the time due to not getting that sexual pleasure and satisfaction.  There is no greater evidence that the main purpose for humans is to procreate than how my want and need to experience sex becomes more and more with each passing day that I'm denied orgasm.  Within a week of chastity, sexual thoughts over-saturate my mind and maintain a steady monopoly over my thinking patterns until I am granted an ejaculation.  Couple this with the fact that I was already more perverted than she was to begin with, and it is a hard fought battle to get us on the same page sexually when also dealing with our otherwise vanilla lives.

I mentioned a few months ago that I would need to re-adjust my way of thinking when it comes to our sexual escapades.  My wife wasn't actively cuckolding me anyway, so I figured I should try to become a better lover for her.   Well, I hate to admit that the efforts are failing.   I don't know if I'm just getting older and less virile or just too far in my own head as a submissive, but wifey is left wanting more all the time.   I know i said she is satisfied overall, but when she is in the mood and I can't give it all to her, it is evident.  She settles and her expectations are lowered.  I tried the numbing cream in the condom trick, and I couldn't stay hard. I proposed the idea of buying a cock sheath, but she'd rather have the real thing.  The only thing left for me to do is try to encourage her to get back into the hotwife mindset.

From the beginning, she has always thought favorably about the thought of sleeping with other men while I stayed faithful.   At first, she just liked the fantasy.   But she gradually took to the thought of making that fantasy a reality.  Once I was eventually cuckolded, she never had any regrets.  The only problem that has made things go cold is a busy vanilla lifestyle.   My biggest challenge is going to be figuring out a way that we can find time for this as well as figuring out a more local option.  Oh, and if it wasn't enough of an uphill battle, I also have to deal with sex being of lower priority to her than me.

I don't know how I'm going to do it, but I will do whatever I think will help.   Whether it be making her feel sexier, making time for date nights that include public hang outs, perhaps putting the feelers out on local swinger sites, or whatever else I can do to get the ball rolling, I have to take a proactive role if I want anything to change.

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