Monday, May 6, 2013
You can't just turn somebody gay, but...
This past weekend, while my wife was out with girlfriends for the night, I took my place at the computer and did what comes naturally to me: surfing my favorite porn sites. I decided to try out some of those sissy self hypnosis training videos that I found out about. There was one about sucking cock. I watched the compilation of women sucking on huge hard cocks with the dubbed over soothing female voice telling me how much I love being a cocksucker.
It was really arousing and I decided that I would try something. Although I admit to fantasizing about sucking cock, and even having accidental ejaculations while watching homo-erotica in the past, I've never masturbated to completion with the sole intention of having an orgasm to it. I always figured it just wouldn't be as intense as having visions of women I am actually attracted to. Well, this time I was going for it no matter what. I got my wife's Hitachi and decided that I was going to be a little slut. I rubbed the magic wand over my silky panties like a girl. Eyes fixated on big beautiful penises, pretending it was my warm mouth caressing them, it didn't take long at all before I was violently shooting a massive load in my panties. It was amazing.
The immediate moments following my orgasm, I lost all desire to even look at the video, yet wasn't feeling the complete shame I thought I would. However, the next day, all I could think about was when I was going to try it again. I'm really surprised at how I took to something so foreign when I'm not really gay. Not in the closet. Nothing like that. I think I just really like sexualizing anything that takes away from who I am supposed to be as a man. Being treated like a dog, being a woman's doormat, and screwing with my sexual preferences all seem to fit the same mold. I think I will try to mix in gay porn to my masturbation habits on a regular basis and see how it goes.