There is usually one main reason that I stop blogging for awhile. That reason has to do with non-chastity periods. This one in particular is one of complete relapse. The state I was in the last time I blogged, horny and frustrated with seemingly no incentive to carry on with it, was ultimately the cause of my downfall. I had mentioned that chastity without teasing and minimal intimacy defeated the purpose in a way, and I couldn't overcome it. Being on the honor system after being allowed to come once in six weeks proved to be a mistake.
Scrolling through my Tumblr feed, a picture sent me over the edge. The image of incredibly sexy Christy Mack (pictured above) graced my computer screen and dared me to let go and give in to my overwhelming urges. Out of all the girls I've raved about on this blog, it was surprising that one who usually doesn't fit my type would leave me powerless. I guess I was just too vulnerable and she is in fact Goddess material. I jacked off until I came furiously, coating myself with my mess. I didn't even feel bad about it. I guess the six week period just burned me out. The flood gates had opened, no pun intended. In less than an hour later, I found myself jacking off to orgasm again, this time to a Sara Jay clip. Later that day I came again to Shanna McCullough. I even came later that day to Dana Delaney after seeing her in some older movie on TV. I finally felt more sexually satisfied than I had in I can't remember how long.
The thing is, in subsequent days I was still horny, just in a different way. I didn't want to tease myself anymore with internet pics and blogs, I just wanted to come. Soon thereafter, I had sex with my wife and she didn't deny me orgasm. Maybe she was burned out with chastity too. I felt bad when I came within five seconds of being inside of her. I thought I would have gained stamina with all the masturbation, but it didn't seem to work. Still, there was no talk of chastity in the foreseeable future. I have continued to masturbate.
I know that in the past, masturbating regularly has curbed my appetite for all things kink related. It has diminished some of my thoughts like being a sissy, but I still think of being cuckolded constantly. I still desire to be nothing but a foot licking panty boy while the wife saves her pussy for other men. I continue to masturbate to interracial porn, one of my preferred methods of orgasm. I feel like I'm trapped because my wife is vanilla no matter how much she has catered to my desires even if she has enjoyed lots of it. She isn't the kinkster I am, and we both are aware that each other's ideal sexual scenario doesn't match. We can only compromise. I will try to be the man she wants in bed just as she tries to be the cuckoldress I want. Until she decides to take control again, I will probably indulge in my selfish need to masturbate to my fetishes.
This is really just an update to show how it has been going with me. I can't really see myself updating the blog regularly until I am back in that creative mood that chastity puts me in. Only time will tell.