Friday, April 26, 2013

Signs of a Dwindling Sex Life

Last night, I had sex with my wife. There had been too much going on lately, and it was nice for us to finally have some time alone with no distractions. We started by making out, which seemed like forever since the last time we did that. She rubbed on my crotch while I rubbed her increasing wetness. I was getting hard, but I wanted to maximize my pleasure. After an amount of kissing, I made my way down to her feet and started worshipping them. As I continued with my fingers on her pussy, I ran my tongue up and down her legs and feet until my erection could handle no more.

Once I knew she was ready, I went down on her. If there was ever a time I wondered if she had lost interest in me (this is over three weeks since she was last in the mood), her response to my mouth and tongue on her very horny pussy proved otherwise. I can tell she hasn't had time to even think about sex, and her sensitivity due to it being so long was evident. I couldn't have licked her for three minutes before she came on my face. I didn't want to back away because I had missed the taste of her. I tried to start licking more after her orgasm, but she didn't want any more. She asked if I could fuck her. That was all it took for me. Having not masturbated in days, I had my own sensitivity issues. I announced that I was going to come, and I rushed to get inside of her. The first spurt happened as the tip of my penis touched her juicy lips. When I entered and unloaded, I looked down at my sexy wife. Her look said she was trying to enjoy the fact that she had a dick inside of her. Then we collapsed together, and cuddled, as if we had completely given each other the best of satisfaction.

Except we didn't. This was another in what is turning into a string of compromises in our sex life. My wife wanted to get fucked and since I can't really provide that, I just wanted to worship her. Where she enjoyed the kissing, I enjoyed licking her feet. We find mutual agreement in the realm of me giving oral sex. But still, things don't flow as smoothly as they should for a couple who loves each other the way we do.

It's hard enough admitting to yourself that intercourse will never be the source of your most intense orgasms. But that is nothing compared to the ever growing reality that my wife and I are not truly sexually compatible. It looks as if our kinky exploits over the years might just have been an experimental stage, for her at least. It isn't even that she's too vanilla. My wife deserves someone who can have vanilla intimate moments with her but can also fuck her into cloud nine the way she likes it. I, on the other hand, would do much better being relegated to the floor, licking away at feet, shoes, or anything she lets me, and jacking off. In bed, she wants to be loved rather than worshipped, and I want to be degraded rather than loved. We as companions are best friends who couldn't love each other more. I just wish that could always translate to the bedroom.

But alas, sex isn't everything and it is a blessing to have what I do. There are so many great things in life we share, even if that includes compromise.

Friday, April 5, 2013

A New Champ Reigns Supreme

I'm actually surprised at the short amount of time it took me to start blogging again since I'm on a break from chastity and don't foresee putting the cage back on any time soon. But my "time off" has been different this go around. Although it is nice to be able to stroke myself to completion every time the urge strikes, I'm still extremely horny and, for some reason, I still have premature ejaculations every time I have sex with my wife. I should feel drained and satisfied, yet I feel like a monkey at the zoo who can't help but play with himself every time a female walks by the cage. Truth is, I'm probably not far off in that assessment. Anyway, there is a new muse in my horny submissive male mind.

I mentioned Christy Mack in my last blog entry. I thought it was a fluke, but she has taken a firm hold of her place in my mind. Now she has knocked off the former reigning champ, Phoenix Marie, as the current #1 porn star of my dreams. It wasn't easy. Phoenix and I have a LOT of history together, even if Phoenix herself doesn't know it, or know me for that matter.

Whether it is just because Christy is too new to the scene or some other reason, she only does the typical vanilla porn. As of writing this, I've found out that she did a small amount of Femdom stuff but didn't stick with it. Still, for some reason she is the one I'd choose over all of them right now. Why? I thought maybe it was because I was just ready for something different. And she really is super hot. But I think it is more than that.

The thing about these pornstars is, obviously, I don't know any of them. All I can do is use the image they put forth and I formulate my own fantasy off of that. Simply put, the image Christy Mack puts forth is that of one bad bitch. Tatted up, head half shaved, and ready to fuck like an animal, she looks like she just doesn't give a fuck as long as she gets hers. To me, she symbolizes the hot girl with whom you somehow managed to get a date, and got her to like you. You know she might be bad for you, but you throw caution to the wind as she becomes your girlfriend. She is a maniac in bed and you can barely handle her, but you manage to hold your own and hang on for dear life with this girl. But you know she can't be tamed. As time goes on, you start to wonder if she's still happy with you. You don't want to lose her. You know she's dangerous the way she flirts with the other guys, and you know deep down that she can't possibly be sexually satisfied with you alone.

You voice your concerns to her, but she plays you like putty in her hand. She has convinced you that the hot guy who asked her to dinner is just a friend, and that it would make her SO happy if you, her favorite boyfriend she's ever had, wouldn't have jealousy issues. You apologize and tell her to have fun, but adding insult to injury, she asks you to take care of some errands for her while she's gone. You still aren't convinced that everything is perfect, but what can you do? She's so sexy and you don't want to lose her. You accept what you have while you still have it.

These incidents gradually occur more and more and become more and more blatant, until you have fully accepted that she is insatiable. Soon she doesn't hide the fact that she fucks other guys and there is no negotiating room. You are under her spell, and do everything you can to let her know how faithful you are and want to stay with her forever. You have become a personal servant as well as a boyfriend. You do whatever she says, and you decide that in order to solidify your place in her life, you will propose to her. You'd rather be her cuckold husband than lose the hottest and baddest bitch around. To be Christy Mack's cuck. How awesome would that be?

It's not one of my typical extreme sissy Femdom cuckold fantasies, but it's funny how something a little more realistic can indeed be hotter. In fact, Christy is white hot on my radar right now. Thankfully, I can masturbate to her all I want while I'm out of chastity.

She's so hot! How am I going to get over this girl?

Monday, April 1, 2013

Sorry for the Hiatus

There is usually one main reason that I stop blogging for awhile. That reason has to do with non-chastity periods. This one in particular is one of complete relapse. The state I was in the last time I blogged, horny and frustrated with seemingly no incentive to carry on with it, was ultimately the cause of my downfall. I had mentioned that chastity without teasing and minimal intimacy defeated the purpose in a way, and I couldn't overcome it. Being on the honor system after being allowed to come once in six weeks proved to be a mistake.

Scrolling through my Tumblr feed, a picture sent me over the edge. The image of incredibly sexy Christy Mack (pictured above) graced my computer screen and dared me to let go and give in to my overwhelming urges. Out of all the girls I've raved about on this blog, it was surprising that one who usually doesn't fit my type would leave me powerless. I guess I was just too vulnerable and she is in fact Goddess material. I jacked off until I came furiously, coating myself with my mess. I didn't even feel bad about it. I guess the six week period just burned me out. The flood gates had opened, no pun intended. In less than an hour later, I found myself jacking off to orgasm again, this time to a Sara Jay clip. Later that day I came again to Shanna McCullough. I even came later that day to Dana Delaney after seeing her in some older movie on TV. I finally felt more sexually satisfied than I had in I can't remember how long.

The thing is, in subsequent days I was still horny, just in a different way. I didn't want to tease myself anymore with internet pics and blogs, I just wanted to come. Soon thereafter, I had sex with my wife and she didn't deny me orgasm. Maybe she was burned out with chastity too. I felt bad when I came within five seconds of being inside of her. I thought I would have gained stamina with all the masturbation, but it didn't seem to work. Still, there was no talk of chastity in the foreseeable future. I have continued to masturbate.

I know that in the past, masturbating regularly has curbed my appetite for all things kink related. It has diminished some of my thoughts like being a sissy, but I still think of being cuckolded constantly. I still desire to be nothing but a foot licking panty boy while the wife saves her pussy for other men. I continue to masturbate to interracial porn, one of my preferred methods of orgasm. I feel like I'm trapped because my wife is vanilla no matter how much she has catered to my desires even if she has enjoyed lots of it. She isn't the kinkster I am, and we both are aware that each other's ideal sexual scenario doesn't match. We can only compromise. I will try to be the man she wants in bed just as she tries to be the cuckoldress I want. Until she decides to take control again, I will probably indulge in my selfish need to masturbate to my fetishes.

This is really just an update to show how it has been going with me. I can't really see myself updating the blog regularly until I am back in that creative mood that chastity puts me in. Only time will tell.