Wednesday, March 6, 2013

The Ever Elusive Release From Chastity

Week 5 has come and gone. I haven't released in what seems like forever. On top of that, I have experienced no sexual intimacy with my wife in over three weeks. There are too many reasons for this to mention. Even though she has told me that we might do something this week if she's up for it, I think my next realistic chance is this weekend. I have only gone six weeks without orgasm a few times in my life, so you can imagine the intensity of what I'm feeling.

Chastity is either holding my rational self captive like a prisoner or it is opening my eyes to a new world of pleasure. I've grown tired of figuring out the answer to that. The thing is, contrary to previous commentary, I am beginning to enjoy what I am feeling. What's more, I want to be denied longer. Even though it is hard being denied with no teasing or supplemental stimulation, I like knowing that I'm in a state of sexual irrelevance. It makes me feel like the unworthy slave that I've always fantasized being. As of now, I'm a house keeper and a foot massage boy, nothing else. And if I can feel comfortable in this level of denial, the addition of sexual humiliation and ridicule would make things even better. It makes me realize that I could in fact be a sexually cutoff cuckold if my wife ever chose to find a local, more regular guy and save herself for him. I do miss the oral worship, but I'm sure I could earn those privileges even as an extreme cuckold from time to time.

Although I've often had fantasies of being denied intercourse permanently, I've never given much consideration to being in chastity forever, until now. I'm still not sure about being permanently chaste, but the thought is becoming more intriguing the longer I wait. If I was approached by my wife this very minute with a contract locking me up for an entire year with no release, I'd sign it in a heartbeat. I think a year would be a good indicator as to whether or not I'd want to continue. If my wife had a steady lover during that time, I'd be in heaven.

I want to tell my wife about this fantasy of mine without freaking her out. I know she would never agree to this. She seems to be ok with having me as a primary sex partner even though I am unable to enter her without coming immediately. She seems to be ok with having a long distance fuck buddy that she sees very seldom, even though he is able to fuck her brains out. It makes little sense to me, but it isn't my decision. Still, I would feel much better if I let her in on my feelings, that I want to be in chastity for a year while she finds a local guy. I think I'm going to tell her anyway. The worst that can happen is that she sees me as even less of a man and my fantasies eventually come true.

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