Monday, March 11, 2013

Six Week Release Backfires

Well, I was finally granted an orgasm by my wife after six interesting weeks. The heightened sense of intimacy we shared was well worth it. But after all is said and done, that might have been the only thing worth the wait.

On Saturday morning, I woke my wife up with a tongue bath, all over her body. It had been awhile for her as well, so she was getting horny. I fingered her to orgasm before it was time to start the day. She promised that I would get mine later. That night we found ourselves all over each other in bed. Not only were my senses enhanced, but my wife was very receptive to my touch. She got wet very fast, and was reaching for my pantied penis early. She could only get a few strokes on me before I had to pull back. She didn't want me coming yet. As my tongue made its way down to my reward, her pussy, I tried to enjoy the moment and breathe everything in. I knew she wouldn't last much longer either. With a fair amount of tongue strokes, she got off, clamping down on my face. She had gotten almost all of what she wanted.

At this point, I was horny myself but wanted to go into a subspace that really got me going. Even after this long of a wait, the vanilla sex wasn't hitting the spot like it used to. It was finally my turn to come inside of my wife after six long weeks, but I hoped I would be relegated to jacking off or even being denied longer. It seems I have become accustomed to being degraded. Alas, she wanted me inside of her. There is a form of humiliation from orgasming in a degrading way, but for some reason the humiliation of coming instantly while trying to fuck is almost too hard to handle. But she wanted me, so I gave it to her. When I opened her legs and got into position, the orgasm began. And upon my initial thrust into her, the first shot fired. I lay there, quivering from the overwhelming sensation of a woman's pussy and unable to start a rhythm of subsequent thrusts as I shot the rest of my load. I was truly embarrassed and my penis quickly went limp. I apologized but was consoled. She said she knew it had been a long time. But that barely helped me as I wondered if she was really frustrated. As we cuddled, I regained composure and felt that relaxed, post orgasmic feeling that I rarely get the chance to feel anymore.

The next morning, I woke up as horny as ever. In fact, I felt more horny than I had in weeks. The orgasm jump started my libido in a bad way. What's worse, there will be no more sex any time soon to ease my feeling which is worse than before I came. As far as sex goes, my wife had gotten all she wanted (well, besides getting actually fucked) and in her mind she had given me all I had deserved. So it may be awhile feeling like this. It is nearly unbearable. At least before my orgasm, I only wanted to be a cock sucking sissy. At least that felt more elegant because I wanted to emulate the fairer sex. Now I just want a bratty college girl to treat me like an absolute dog, walk me around on all fours, make me lick her feet for hours, and finally let me hump her leg. It's like the orgasm put my hormones back on a more primitive level. I'm just a dog now. I don't even deserve to act like a lady.

I must find something to take my mind off of this. But I probably won't. I hope I don't annoy my wife too much, but she may find me spending a lot of time slobbering on her toes.

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

The Ever Elusive Release From Chastity

Week 5 has come and gone. I haven't released in what seems like forever. On top of that, I have experienced no sexual intimacy with my wife in over three weeks. There are too many reasons for this to mention. Even though she has told me that we might do something this week if she's up for it, I think my next realistic chance is this weekend. I have only gone six weeks without orgasm a few times in my life, so you can imagine the intensity of what I'm feeling.

Chastity is either holding my rational self captive like a prisoner or it is opening my eyes to a new world of pleasure. I've grown tired of figuring out the answer to that. The thing is, contrary to previous commentary, I am beginning to enjoy what I am feeling. What's more, I want to be denied longer. Even though it is hard being denied with no teasing or supplemental stimulation, I like knowing that I'm in a state of sexual irrelevance. It makes me feel like the unworthy slave that I've always fantasized being. As of now, I'm a house keeper and a foot massage boy, nothing else. And if I can feel comfortable in this level of denial, the addition of sexual humiliation and ridicule would make things even better. It makes me realize that I could in fact be a sexually cutoff cuckold if my wife ever chose to find a local, more regular guy and save herself for him. I do miss the oral worship, but I'm sure I could earn those privileges even as an extreme cuckold from time to time.

Although I've often had fantasies of being denied intercourse permanently, I've never given much consideration to being in chastity forever, until now. I'm still not sure about being permanently chaste, but the thought is becoming more intriguing the longer I wait. If I was approached by my wife this very minute with a contract locking me up for an entire year with no release, I'd sign it in a heartbeat. I think a year would be a good indicator as to whether or not I'd want to continue. If my wife had a steady lover during that time, I'd be in heaven.

I want to tell my wife about this fantasy of mine without freaking her out. I know she would never agree to this. She seems to be ok with having me as a primary sex partner even though I am unable to enter her without coming immediately. She seems to be ok with having a long distance fuck buddy that she sees very seldom, even though he is able to fuck her brains out. It makes little sense to me, but it isn't my decision. Still, I would feel much better if I let her in on my feelings, that I want to be in chastity for a year while she finds a local guy. I think I'm going to tell her anyway. The worst that can happen is that she sees me as even less of a man and my fantasies eventually come true.