Sunday, October 21, 2012

Levels of submission: how low can you go?

I crave to be this low in life.




It was Monday morning. I was trying to get my head back into my work to start the week right. Of course, this is hard to do for most people after a weekend. What made it worse for me was that I was completely denied any kind of sex and any kind of erection. It has been a couple of weeks since my last masturbation allowance, and needless to say, having an unlocked penis at work tends to help blood flow to places it hasn't for a couple of days. It was an hour into the day, I was horny, and I hadn't even gotten started on my work.

I began thinking about how much I wanted to be a full time submissive to my wife. But the fantasy to become submissive to anyone took control. I thought about how submissive I wanted to be. I wanted to be very low on the food chain. In our society, the majority of people will agree that we are all equals. Some in the BDSM world will say that one gender is superior over the other, while others will say that it depends on who you are in your soul that determines anything at all. I fall into the latter. I also believe in levels of dominance and submission.

I recall a video clip I watched awhile back from Club Dom. For those who don't know about that site, Lady Cheyenne was a founder and from her beginnings as a pro-Domme, developed a website that has every imaginable scenario in the lexicon of a submissive's dirty mind. Such featured women as Kendra James and Goddess Brianna (pictured above) help make it very easy to hit the subscribe button. Anyway, the clip to which I'm referring featured Goddess Brianna and another Domme I can't remember. They had two slaves. The alpha slave was sporting a well endowed erection and the beta slave was locked in chastity. The alpha slave received a double footjob from the ladies while the beta slave could only worship their feet with his tongue. And of course, when the alpha slave came on their feet, the beta slave had to lick up the mess.

I thought, what if I had a choice to be in that scene, and got to choose which slave I could be? Could you imagine making that decision for yourself? I thoroughly played out the plights of both slaves in my head. Wouldn't it feel so good to be the alpha slave? Having these beautiful dominant women above me, and having their soft feet all over my penis driving me into ecstasy, would be the opportunity of a lifetime. But what about the beta slave? That is the type of submission that gets deep into my soul. I actually think I would be more truthful to myself if I was the tongue boy in that scenario. Granted, I would be denied that powerful orgasm, but I think I would rather bask in the inner glow of who I truly am in this world than have an undeserved reward.

Since I live in a predominantly vanilla world, I explore my kinks solely on the internet and with my wife. So I don't know much about BDSM communities, or more to the point, BDSM families. But I would imagine that a percentage of them do have various levels of dominance and submission between family members. I wonder if my submissive tendencies really do reflect my fantasies, which are near or at the bottom of the totem pole.

I like to imagine scenarios in which I am owned by a Domme who has other subs. Perhaps she has a female slave who is allowed to dominate me. Maybe she has a stable of sissy maids including me, but during playtime between sissies, I'm only allowed to be the bottom. Maybe I'm in a stable of human pets, including alpha males and breeding bitches, but I'm just a runt who would be lucky to sniff their butts. Many situations boil down to the central theme that if I'm going to be submissive, I might as well submit to my fullest ability.

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