Saturday, September 24, 2011
The Chastity Paradox
It has been a few weeks now since I was put back on an orgasm schedule. Things have definitely gotten tougher. My temper is a lot shorter than it has been, and it is hard to hide a reoccurring grumpy mood in front of my wife and family. Also, my work day is filled with sexual fantasies that tend to get in the way of my productivity. But I've dealt with this before and I can manage to do it again. The good news is that I'm on the honor system as of now and I'm not being made to put on my CB3000, yet.
Although this was originally my idea years ago, I can see why my wife has never abandoned chastity play. Even though there are cool off periods where we do nothing kinky for months, she eventually reinstates the chastity schedule without me even mentioning it, and whether I agree with it or not. She knows the benefits and have become comfortable with them.
Take last night for example. She's horny and knows I've been horny for weeks. She decides that she wants sex. Without question, I immediately put on a pair of lacy string bikini panties and join her in bed. She's still fully clothed and it takes a decent amount of making out before I can get her sweatpants off. When I do, she's wearing a modest pair of panties, definitely not sexy like the ones I'm wearing. Her legs have two days worth of stubble on them, but she knows I'm so horny that she could go a full week without shaving and I'd still want to hump them. There is no chance of her taking her t-shirt off because she's not wearing a bra and I'm not allowed to see her big breasts. She knows that the way she looks is still attractive and greatly appreciated by me. Soon her panties are off and I'm licking her pussy. My extreme hunger to please her pussy with my tongue, fueled by the denial of my own sexual needs, has her getting hot very quickly. It doesn't take long before she is cumming on my face.
She then decides to do a little tease on my penis with her mouth. How I didn't cum immediately from the touch of her lips and tongue on my throbbing member, I don't know. But she is very careful not to take me too far in her mouth. I try to buck my hips to get deeper, but she pulls back to ensure I don't get the full feeling. I start to think about the fact that she bobs up and down frantically on her boyfriend's cock when they are together because she knows he can handle it. He often comments on how good she is at giving blowjobs, and here she is giving me none of that effort. The thought starts to arouse me even more and she senses it from my breathing. She pulls away for good. She then tells me that I'm going to have to wait another week, and puts my penis back into my panties. She mentions how she'd love a nice massage to help her fall asleep. I massage her to sleep, and again in the morning. She knows that soon I will be making breakfast and cleaning around the house in a very energetic fashion.
So it is easy to see what she gets in this, but sometimes I don't understand why I love to be under this spell. An explosive orgasm or two, or three, would make me feel so much better. However, I like feeling this horny. When I look at it from a basic view, it makes no sense, I mean, here I am, wanting to fuck my wife's brains out and cum inside of her, yet it makes me feel good when I'm denied. How can I want to be denied something that I want to do? Doesn't it sound silly?
Some people have stated that if a loving husband were truly subservient, he wouldn't need chastity to do those things. I know there are those who in fact fit into that category. But those of us who have been in chastity know that there is a special energy that is present. The closeness and intimacy I share with my wife, being horny for sure, but also knowing that the cuddling will not lead to any sexual release, is unmatched. Perhaps it makes me a better, unselfish person. Or maybe it is the fact that my senses are heightened when I'm in this state. The touch of her skin and her scent are magnified. There are so many reasons.
It sends us on a roller coaster of emotions, and the longer our keepers deal with this, the longer they understand us. No matter what the true reason for my love of orgasm denial, I am thankful every day that I found someone with which to share this gift.