Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Be careful what you wish for
Even in the beginnings of my vanilla relationship with my wife, I had thoughts of what it would be like to serve her. I never thought I could actually handle her cuckolding me, but I still thought about some of the soft domination she was capable of. After a few years of marriage, I started to get comfortable with the idea that she really could be my Mistress, and even my Cuckoldress. When I confided in my wife that I wanted to be her servant, her willingness to try it made things that much more realistic and possible. We had some great times experimenting as Mistress and slave. The experimenting became routine, and the routine became our lifestyle.
That is when I started to think about how far I could take this lifestyle. I started to think that I was ready to become an extreme cuckold. That I could handle being denied sex forever while my wife had all the lovers she wanted. When I told my wife about how hot I thought something like cuckolding could be, she actually smiled at the idea. She said she'd like to do something, but it would take time for this to sink in. After a few years, she finally got in touch with an ex boyfriend and it didn't take long before they were meeting for sex.
When I was first cuckolded, all seemed well. My dreams were coming true before my very eyes. Then something happened. My dreams were actually coming true, in the not-so-fantasy way. She was wanting less and less of me, denying me sex of all sorts, at the same time doing whatever her boyfriend wanted sexually. She bossed me around even more, and even in front of vanilla friends. I started to freak out a little. After all the years of thinking about this, I didn't understand why I wasn't enjoying it.
Then I realized something. I am still fascinated with cuckoldry even in its extreme form. I am fascinated with the idea of cuckoldry. That doesn't necessarily mean I should be a little bitch of a cuckold for the rest of my entire life. Though I tried to follow in the footsteps of some great cuck boys who have taken their natural place, I have too much Alpha male in myself to live life that way. I had to talk with my wife.
It was great to let my wife know what was on my mind. She said that she likes both sides of me, and agreed that things of this nature should only be an enhancement of our sex life. She keeps her visits with her boyfriend spread out, and we only practice D/s in intervals. Things seemed to have gotten even better.
The phrase 'be careful what you wish for' seems to be overused many times over. But it is the most truthful thing to tell someone who wants to become a complete slave or cuckold. I hear about a lot of Dommes who have subs back out of things because they obviously couldn't handle it. They were in love with the idea of being a slave and have to learn the hard way. My advice is that a good balance of your kinks is just as important as the balance in your life.