Thursday, December 29, 2011

Weekend Getaway Followed By A Winter Slump

For me, nothing slows a mood down faster than the cold, dreary season of winter. The hustle and bustle of the holidays doesn't help either. There is just no time to think about the sexy things in life. Maybe I should start with where I left on in my last entry.

I was on a four week bout of chastity and horny as ever. The anticipation and pent up frustration was to finally meet its destination in the form of our weekend getaway. And yes, it did happen. My wife and I got a hotel room downtown near the nightlife.

The plan was for us to have some drinks, she would flirt around a little, and we would see where things went from there. So we went to some of the known establishments. She tried to find some guys she liked. She did converse with one or two guys, but the vibe just wasn't there. Anything more would have seemed like forcing the issue. We decided after awhile that it was time to go back to the room and make our own fun.

When we got there, she sat on the bed and told me to remove her boots and socks. Once I did that, I did what came naturally for a sub with four weeks of denial and started licking. I licked and slurped on her feet like a desperate dog trying to gain acceptance from his owner. She smiled the whole time, and once I felt she'd had enough of my worship, we both got into more sexy attire. I wore a lacy white thong and she wore a black push-up bra with matching boy shorts. We ordered some porn on the tv and as she laid down on the bed, I took my place on the floor beside her.

As we watched the big dicked studs plow into the horny women on the screen, it was evident how turned on she was by her wetness and how she pulled me into bed with her. I fingered her while she watched the fucking. It was the only way to simulate the adult movie since my penis was ready to explode at the slightest caress. With my fingers, I could control things, and as the guy on the screen had the woman doggy style, slapping her ass, I was slapping hers. She loved it. She loved how I teased her clit, prolonging the pleasure. She was being treated like a slut while my penis stood by idly. It was the next best thing to her actually getting fucked by another man. It was followed by her intense and well built up orgasm.

When it was finally my turn to release, the mood wasn't as intense. We both knew that I was going to cum upon entry, which I did. For me it was quick, not satisfying, and she didn't even take her bra off. The next morning, we went at it and I was still too sensitive to perform any kind of rhythm, so mostly I just kept myself inside of her while fingering her clit. She still didn't let me see her naked breasts because she knew I would cum even faster. Still, I came before I could get her off, and ended up finishing her with my mouth on her clit while tasting my own cum. And finally, later on that day, we had sex for a third time. I fucked her doggy style and lasted about thirty seconds.

It is truly a great physical feeling to have three releases inside the woman you love and worship. And there was some kinky play and submission, like me wearing panties, being denied the sight of my wife's big tits the entire weekend, and the humiliation of my feeble attempts at fucking. Many, many men would have loved to trade places with me. Still, I can't help but compare things to our most intense sexual exploits. One weekend getaway in particular comes to mind when she shoved a huge realistic dildo down my throat, slapping me in the face while telling me how pathetic my dick is, all before fucking the dildo and telling me how much better "he" is before finally orgasming on it. There were numerous times like that in the past which were just as intense, but we don't seem to be doing that anymore.

Maybe my wife feels that by actually cuckolding me as she did, she has taken "the game" far enough for me, as if to say she has already done her part, and none of this is about her. As much enthusiasm as she has taken when playing over the years, I still worry that this may be true. Or maybe it is really just the dull mood of the dreary winter.

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Chastity With a High Sex Drive

At the expense of sounding too straightforward with this, I just have to say that my balls are SO full. I am as horny as ever today. I can't believe I have at least ten days to go before I am allowed to ejaculate. Sometimes I think my sex drive is just too high to practice chastity.

Some people are naturally submissive in the most extreme sense. For me, that only happens after I am denied my primal urge to come for extended periods of time. I turn into a different person. After an amount of denial, it isn't about fucking and getting my rocks off anymore. It becomes about serving. The want to feel the pussy on my dick is replaced by the want to smell and taste it. The desire to hold her naked breasts, suck on them, and fuck them is replaced by the arousal of being denied their sight and feel, teased by mere cleavage, redirected to licking her sweaty feet instead. Even most of my erections are replaced by wet spots (don't ask me how that happens, but after long term denial, my penis somehow conditions itself to stay soft and leak precum to deal with arousal).

All I want to do is be a good little bitch for my beautiful wife. My mind is clouded all day with many various fantasies. From cuckolding to being a sissy cock sucker, from role play to cbt, the scenarios flood my imagination.

I even thought about writing an imaginary letter to my wife, pretending she is my mommy and telling her how much of a good boy I've been and how I would make sure to pick up all of my toys and do my chores while she and daddy are on their date. Then being made to go to bed early by my bratty 18 year old babysitter, so she can have her boyfriend over,

You get the picture. The vanilla me is locked away for now, just as subsequent as my penis is locked in chastity. My only outlet is to be a better helper for my wife, and to give better massages, which only intensifies everything. This is Hell. But this is Heaven.

Saturday, December 3, 2011

Getting reacquainted with an old friend

Last night started out like any other Friday night where you have drinks and retire to the bedroom with a little buzz and feel like having some fun. Not that it is the case every Friday night, but you get my drift. My wife and I started making out to kick off the inevitable oral worship she would receive. But the whole time, I was having trouble letting her touch my penis for fear of having an accident. She loves touching me and feeling how hard I get for her. I'm guessing it was quite a letdown for her that she could not stroke me and feel like she was in bed with a capable man. Still, my oral skills kept things at bay, and I satisfied her otherwise.

After her orgasm, we cuddled and kissed a little more. As we made small talk, she mentioned how she couldn't believe how excited I've been getting. I agreed with her. Then she told me that maybe I should be locked up until I get to cum. That she didn't want to risk me having a wet dream or accident during this time. To be honest, I quickly agreed since I hadn't been under such control in awhile and was curious to experience it again. But of course, that was also because I was hard as a rock and being controlled sounds best at that time.

I pulled out my CB3000 from its box in the closet. At that moment I realized just how long it has been. My wife hasn't been with her fuck buddy in months, and the last time I took it off was after she came back from meeting him. It still had the ksd-g2 in place. For those who don't know, the ksd stands for keepsake device, and it is an insert that is supposed to prevent you from pulling out. Now everyone who is familiar with chastity devices knows that the CB series is not escape proof no matter what you do. But this is one added measure that will do a bit of damage to your penis if you pull it out. I like having that extra safeguard. Anyway, I locked it in place and that feeling of helplessness on my still aroused but softening penis brought back that old and familiar feeling of submission, especially when I put the key on her nightstand.

For the next two weeks, I will only be out of my cage during showers and also at work. This isn't Fort Knox by any means, but some circumstances just don't allow me to wear it 24/7. Which is fine, because it contributes to the fact that I have had this device for at least six years and it is still intact (hopefully I didn't jinx it). Otherwise, I will feel this mass of plastic between my legs at home and out with friends. As I sit and type this today, the absolute need to be locked up like this feels a bit premature. Now that I am not at full mast with my hot wife staring down at me, the regrets are there. But overall I am glad she wants this for me. We both know how much better I am as a husband when my hormone levels are bouncing off the ceiling yet kept in check under lock and key.

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Going back into lockup

It looks like the break is over. I was denied for the first time since September, and it may lead to more D/s play. Last night, my wife and I started fooling around, and one thing led to another. The kissing turned into making out, and then became me going down on her. I didn't take her panties off, but I slid them to the side, exposing her beautiful pussy. While I worshipped between her legs, I became hard as a rock, and was nearly fighting off an accident of my own. Soon she was cumming. After that came the talk I have had many times before.

"I want you to fuck me. Can you fuck me?" she asked. "See how much I want you?", she said as we both noticed how drenched she was.

I told her that I was really close to cumming and was going to shoot in her quickly. I asked her if that was ok. She thought about it for a second. Even though she has been telling me to go ahead lately, she changed directions and mentioned how it probably wouldn't be worth it. She slipped the crotch of her panties back into place.

"I think I'll make you wait awhile." she said, and also added that our weekend getaway was in a few weeks and she'd like me to be really horny and attentive until then. If that wasn't enough, she added that I wasn't really doing a good job fucking her anyway.

So it turns out that some of the things on my mind these last few weeks were also of some significance to her. It was good to know that we were both on the same page when it came to playing again. Even though I could have exploded into a hot wet pussy if I would have just kept my mouth shut, things seemed right.

By the way, the pic is not me, nor is it the device I use. But it is a good image of what is to come.

Saturday, November 26, 2011

Keeping a Release Calender for Chastity

I started keeping a calender of every time I get to release. I did this a couple of years ago but never stuck with it. I started this new one in mid September and it is interesting to see how my body reacts and the trends that form during different periods of denial. I include the time of day, the type of sex, with or without a condom, and how long I lasted. I can also add the times my wife has sex with a real man and how long he lasts to make interesting comparisons.

As I stated before, we haven't been playing much at all, but I have not been getting enough release to make sex much different. I've noticed that since I've started keeping record on this calender, I've really only been inside of my wife for a total of about two minutes. It's amazing to think how far I've fallen in terms of sexual performance and inability even without being put in chastity. It will also be interesting to make a final tally for the year and compare it to how many times you'd think your average healthy male releases. Anyway, I just thought I'd pass this along as an idea for anyone into chastity play.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Forced Vanilla

A little over a month ago, I was preparing myself for a significant amount of chastity, service, and cuckolding. Due to unforeseen events, all things were put on hold. But this isn't turning out to be a typical break from the kink where I have regular sex with my wife, frequent orgasms, and a mind clear of the horny thoughts that occupy my attention. Instead, this is becoming a mixture of no play and no release. This area of limbo is proving to be the worst.

When we are in the midst of our Femdom games, the feeling of denial is bearable because there is no expectation of me being the provider of good sex. It is accompanied by verbal torment of my pathetic attempt at intercourse, which makes the game more fun for us. But once my wife is done dominating and denying me for awhile, we have sex about three times during the weekend and things go back to a more vanilla marriage.

The difference this time is that we haven't had enough time to have sex so frequently. We have only had sex about once every couple of weeks, clearly not enough times to curb my appetite for sex. I'm still very horny but there is no outlet for my kinky submissive tendencies right now. I wish very much to put on panties and lick my wife's shoes, but we are not in Femdom mode. I wish to talk with my wife about the sex she has with her boyfriend, but there has been no recent encounter and may not be for quite some time. I wish I could either fuck her the right way or be locked up and denied that right because these twenty second fuck sessions aren't really rocking her world either.

We are planning a weekend getaway soon. I hope she lets me indulge in some of the service oriented play. But until then, it is a hard road to travel for someone with horny kinky thoughts and no outlet.

Thursday, November 3, 2011

A Great Cuckold Website

I feel the need to tell everyone about a very good cuckold website that I found. Actually, I used to frequent the original website,, back before I went ahead with telling my wife of my fantasies. It was very informative and I learned a lot that would help me go forth with a cuckold marriage. The website's owner, Luvr, has somewhat revamped it. The website is now, and when I found it recently, I was amazed by how much it had grown in content.

Often when trying to convey my thoughts on certain issues, I still feel that I can't get the point I'm trying to make come across they way I want. Though I think I did a decent job in my post 'Why Sissify?', Luvr hit the nail on the head with his article 'The Pantied Cuckold'. Here is an excerpt from the article that really caught my attention.

For some couples, the journey to cuckolding begins first with an exploration of the husband’s submission. Being that male ego is so closely tied to his genitals, they are the most effective path to his submission. Panties are such an outwardly physical sign of femininity that they have long been used to reflect shame on men by implying they’re wearing them when one chooses to criticize a male for less than masculine behavior. The natural thing, then, to deepen a male’s submission is to actually panty him.

This is a good explanation of where I stand on the issue of why I love the idea of a man wearing women's panties, and why I like wearing women's panties. There are many other articles that do a great job of explaining some of the more questionable behaviors by otherwise normal, heterosexual males. I highly recommend this site to anyone who is interested in any aspect of cuckolding.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

When you have to put the kinky games to the side

It has been awhile since I updated. Besides being a little busy, there was something else that changed the situation I left you with on the last post. My wife and I got into a serious argument. I won't go into the details, but it was so serious that the Femdom thing had to be put on hold. We have since reconciled and have no hard feelings towards each other.

Every marriage is different, but I think a good all marriages need to focus on the important things when times are tough. I may be consumed with the idea that I live to please my wife in any submissive way possible, but rough times like the one we went through prove that our kinky sexual adventures are just games we play in the grand scheme of things. So after a week of tension between us, things got progressively better until we had that talk which really settled things. That is when the makeup sex came into play.

I knew that I could not portray the submissive bitch boy who left her wanting a little more if I was to have real makeup sex. It was going to be difficult since my orgasms had been rationed, but I knew that she needed me to step up and be a man for her. What I lacked in stamina, I made up for with my fingers and overall sexual prowess. I turned her around and I worked my fingers like a pornstar's cock and she really loved it. She even took to my slapping her ass and pulling her hair. She came extremely hard. Then I buried my own dick in and fucked until I exploded. She was really satisfied and made sure I knew how great it had been. We did it again later that day. I still hadn't gained my stamina back since it was still one orgasm for me in two weeks, But we had a lot of fun with it, and it seemed to bring us very close again as a couple.

This is obviously not for all couples. There are 24/7 Femdom couples that don't consider their roles in the marriage just a game. But I think the majority of married couples who practice this dynamic do have to put the "extras" on the back burner when they really need each other.

I'm not sure how long our games will be on hold. She may want me to be a man for her for quite some time, or things may get kinky really soon. But I will try to keep the blog fresh with more of my thoughts no matter what.

Saturday, September 24, 2011

The Chastity Paradox

It has been a few weeks now since I was put back on an orgasm schedule. Things have definitely gotten tougher. My temper is a lot shorter than it has been, and it is hard to hide a reoccurring grumpy mood in front of my wife and family. Also, my work day is filled with sexual fantasies that tend to get in the way of my productivity. But I've dealt with this before and I can manage to do it again. The good news is that I'm on the honor system as of now and I'm not being made to put on my CB3000, yet.

Although this was originally my idea years ago, I can see why my wife has never abandoned chastity play. Even though there are cool off periods where we do nothing kinky for months, she eventually reinstates the chastity schedule without me even mentioning it, and whether I agree with it or not. She knows the benefits and have become comfortable with them.

Take last night for example. She's horny and knows I've been horny for weeks. She decides that she wants sex. Without question, I immediately put on a pair of lacy string bikini panties and join her in bed. She's still fully clothed and it takes a decent amount of making out before I can get her sweatpants off. When I do, she's wearing a modest pair of panties, definitely not sexy like the ones I'm wearing. Her legs have two days worth of stubble on them, but she knows I'm so horny that she could go a full week without shaving and I'd still want to hump them. There is no chance of her taking her t-shirt off because she's not wearing a bra and I'm not allowed to see her big breasts. She knows that the way she looks is still attractive and greatly appreciated by me. Soon her panties are off and I'm licking her pussy. My extreme hunger to please her pussy with my tongue, fueled by the denial of my own sexual needs, has her getting hot very quickly. It doesn't take long before she is cumming on my face.

She then decides to do a little tease on my penis with her mouth. How I didn't cum immediately from the touch of her lips and tongue on my throbbing member, I don't know. But she is very careful not to take me too far in her mouth. I try to buck my hips to get deeper, but she pulls back to ensure I don't get the full feeling. I start to think about the fact that she bobs up and down frantically on her boyfriend's cock when they are together because she knows he can handle it. He often comments on how good she is at giving blowjobs, and here she is giving me none of that effort. The thought starts to arouse me even more and she senses it from my breathing. She pulls away for good. She then tells me that I'm going to have to wait another week, and puts my penis back into my panties. She mentions how she'd love a nice massage to help her fall asleep. I massage her to sleep, and again in the morning. She knows that soon I will be making breakfast and cleaning around the house in a very energetic fashion.

So it is easy to see what she gets in this, but sometimes I don't understand why I love to be under this spell. An explosive orgasm or two, or three, would make me feel so much better. However, I like feeling this horny. When I look at it from a basic view, it makes no sense, I mean, here I am, wanting to fuck my wife's brains out and cum inside of her, yet it makes me feel good when I'm denied. How can I want to be denied something that I want to do? Doesn't it sound silly?

Some people have stated that if a loving husband were truly subservient, he wouldn't need chastity to do those things. I know there are those who in fact fit into that category. But those of us who have been in chastity know that there is a special energy that is present. The closeness and intimacy I share with my wife, being horny for sure, but also knowing that the cuddling will not lead to any sexual release, is unmatched. Perhaps it makes me a better, unselfish person. Or maybe it is the fact that my senses are heightened when I'm in this state. The touch of her skin and her scent are magnified. There are so many reasons.

It sends us on a roller coaster of emotions, and the longer our keepers deal with this, the longer they understand us. No matter what the true reason for my love of orgasm denial, I am thankful every day that I found someone with which to share this gift.

Friday, September 2, 2011

Wife puts me back in my place

I know I haven't kept up with the blog lately, but there has been little to talk about. Over the last few months or more, things had gone to a rather vanilla state. My wife did cuckold me once over the summer, but for the most part things have been normal. We've been having regular sex, no denial, and no real servitude. Well, it seems things are about to change.

It started earlier this week. We hadn't really had time for intimacy in a couple of weeks. Many other things in our lives dictated that. And due to the lack of sex, I was getting very horny. So the other day, my wife was laying on our bed reading, wearing short shorts that made me take notice of her tan legs and sexy little feet, toes painted bright pink. I had an irresistible urge to kneel down and just start kissing her feet. The kissing got heavier until it became licking. She mentioned that it had been awhile since she had gotten much attention to her feet, and I agreed. For a couple more days, I found myself kissing them whenever I got the chance.

A couple of nights ago, we decided that it was time to break the drought and have sex. We made out, and eventually I found myself between her legs licking frantically. She was very horny too, and it was evident by the way she reacted to my oral worship. It didn't take her long to have an orgasm. Now lately, the next thing would be for me to get up and start fucking her from there. The thing was, it had been a long time for me and I could tell that I was already close to my orgasm without any stimulation by her other than me sort of dry humping her leg during the oral. So when I got up from between her legs, she started to reach for my penis and noticed I was a little guarded with it. She knew what that meant.

I told her that I was pretty close to cumming, and then she said she wasn't going to let me cum anyway. She said that she likes the way I'd been acting the last few days and thought it would be good if things went back to the way they were. I had mixed feelings about it, but decided to ask if I could fuck her and we could talk about it afterward. She said no, and I pleaded with her to reconsider. She stood firm and said that she wanted me to suffer for her since I had slacked off for so long. The more she talked about how she wanted things to be, the less able I was to stand my ground. So without putting up much of a fight, I conceded to her and made mental preparations for being her submissive once again. As she laid down to sleep for the night, I made my way to the panty drawer and put on a pair, making her smile as she drifted off to sleep.

Since then, I've learned that she's made plans to see her boyfriend again in the near future. Not only that, she says when I am allowed to fuck her, I'm to wear condoms indefinitely. This adds insult to injury since her boyfriend is allowed to go bareback. At this time, I'm able to handle this situation and I'm still aroused by it. I hope I keep that feeling.

Saturday, July 23, 2011

What is considered cheating for a submissive husband?

A man who lives in a real Wife-led-marriage is disciplined, obedient, and loyal to his wife. I would venture to say that they are the least likely to stray out of all men. Their wives keep them in a condition to serve and put their focus in life on their better halves. That being said, a man is only a man, not without flaws, and with a healthy libido will be attracted to other women. But given the status of the submissive husband, is there an elevated expectation of him that gives him a different, more strict set of rules? At what point would the WLM husband be a cheater?

We can start by walking backwards. Of course, if any man has sex with another woman behind his wife's back, that is cheating. And you can also consider merely kissing to be along those same lines. Some say that cyber sex with a woman online is cheating, to which I agree. And many women would also say that if her husband is flirting heavily with another woman, he is going to be in the doghouse if not out on the street soon.

But then you get to the gray areas. A man masturbating to porn, or just masturbating while thinking of a woman other than his wife? Some women will give their husbands a pass, though some won't.

How about just looking at pictures or porn without masturbating? Same thing?

Or what about just daydreaming, fantasizing about a woman you know and are attracted to?

And finally, would seeing an attractive woman on the street or in a store and having impure thoughts be considered cheating for a WLM husband?

You could argue that every example I gave could be considered cheating if a dominant wife deemed so. It would be interesting to know where people in the lifestyle stand on this issue.

Monday, July 4, 2011

The Power of Orgasm Denial

I believe that if a man is attracted to a certain woman in any way, that woman can eventually own him if she effectively takes control of his biological urges and sexual needs. Though it isn't always easy, I think every man can be controlled if the woman does it correctly. If she can seductively convince him that he should never release his pent up sexual frustration in the form of orgasm until she says so, and only with her, he will in fact obey that command.

I realized early on that if you didn't keep yourself sexually satisfied (in my case with masturbation), you would get too horny to think straight. I also noticed that the orgasm was much more intense if I had in fact waited awhile. Not an easy task for a young man with a normal sex drive. But then in college I discovered the Nugget fetish magazine which showcased a lot of chastity play, and things started to click in my head. A beautiful woman forcing a man to wait, and him falling under her spell, and him waiting until that day when he's allowed to have the most explosive orgasm of his life.

That is when I started to experiment myself. I would go a week before masturbating, then two weeks, then three. Sometimes I could go an entire month without masturbating. In each case, I had become more and more intrigued with women and wanting to belong to a woman. I do think that this plays into my own kink as well as the kink other men have. But I also think that if a man, any man, is made to wait a long period without orgasm, he will also develop the need to please a woman rather than to just have sex with her.

After being married for a number of years and finally confessing my desire to be controlled in this way to my wife, she saw how true this could be. After putting me on an orgasm schedule which was usually two to three weeks, the changes happened. I started to volunteer any and all domestic services, pampering and massages, even pedicures. Even though I had this fetish, I never thought I would actually participate in such service the way I did. I became so attracted to my wife that she became more of an object of desire than a peer, and she loved it. Although, being a normal heterosexual male, I did find other women quite attractive, none of them could hold a candle to my wife. She was the one who controlled me, and I could never imagine a scenario that would put a strain on my dependability, loyalty, and obedience. Not that I would ever stray in the first place. But it was on a whole other level. Best friends from way back, hobbies, career,
nothing mattered as much anymore than my willingness to make her happy. At times I felt like more like her dog than her husband.

Things of that nature have cooled off a bit due to our evolving roles in our lives in general. But she knows that if she ever wants me back in complete and total slave mode, she knows how to achieve that. I wish that every woman knew the control they possess if they know how to harness it. And if I had the magic formula on how to make it work for every couple, I would seriously consider writing my own book on it.

Thursday, June 30, 2011

Lady Barbara

Surfing along, I came across (no pun intended) a video clip of a woman who quickly caught my eye. Her name is Lady Barbara, and she is a mature leg and foot fetish model/porn star. She is from Germany. I'm not usually as fond of the foreign stuff because I'm a big fan of really vocal domination, so a different language doesn't help with that. But with Lady Barbara, her curvy legs, mature to the point of stern mother-like looks, and naturally dominant demeanor, the visual is all it takes for me to fall under the spell.

She has many video clips that you can find on, but the ones I like are the foot worshipping slave vids. My favorite is a clip where she's out in her backyard on one of those long outdoor chairs lounging while a slave wearing only a collar, leash, high heels, and a small apron is on his knees worshipping her feet. She is telling him commands which I cannot understand, but you can tell she is in complete control. After the slave massages and worships her feet for awhile, he is finally allowed to jack off on them. He strokes his small penis until a huge load shoots onto her perfectly tanned feet. Then she immediately lifts them up to his face as he licks up his mess.

This portrays what my ultimate cuckold life would be like, assuming she has sex with other men while me, the husband, is denied that pleasure. It made me think that I could actually, in real life, handle having such limited access to my wife if my rare release dates were played out in scenes that sexy.

So I just wanted to share this reference with everyone since it was so mind blowing to me.

Monday, June 27, 2011

Why Sissify?

Sissification can be very misunderstood at first glance. A narrow-minded assumption that anyone who wants to be a sissy must be a closet homosexual is far off track.

I've gotten into arguments on the internet with people who don't agree with me on certain subjects, and a lot of the time they will try to fire back with, "Well at least I don't like wearing panties, you little bitch", and then think they've automatically won the argument. I know, right? Such a shallow assessment. But to be fair, it's not like they should understand why a guy wants to dress in lingerie if they themselves have no prior exposure to it or desire to learn about it.

There are many reasons that guys dress up like sissies. You've already got your people who have genuine issues which result in being transgendered. We will set that aside, because in my opinion, that has nothing to do with the kink. What I know is why I myself like it. And, just like cuckolding, it dispels the myth that all sissies are closet homosexuals and pathetic wimps.

The reason guys like myself find arousal in being sissified is because it goes against who we really are. A lot of times in society we are told to be masculine, perhaps athletic, and competitive in all aspects of the real world. But if we are into kink, we love to do what seems so wrong, so naughty, so opposite of everyday life.

Instead of sustaining the persona of the men we are, at times we want to act out and be slutty sissies. Instead of going out every day and trying to make the world ours, sometimes we just want to dress up and be the world's bitch. Hell, I'd love to dress up as a French maid and serve drinks to my wife and her lover if they'd agree to it. That doesn't mean it's who I really am, but I can't think of anything more degrading, more humiliating, or more arousing.

If wearing panties, stockings and a garter belt was normal for me to do, I would probably get no excitement out of it. But it is a humiliating thing to me, and I derive pleasure from the humiliation and the helplessness of not being the macho man in control. I don't know why I do, but it's true. So line up those cocks, boys. I'm all dolled up and ready to be humiliated!

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Why would somebody actually want to be a cuckold?

It's usually the most commented thread in any kinky forum. You've probably seen this question the most in every cuckold related discussion. But not only is it hard to explain to someone why we want to be a cuckold, it's hard to understand it ourselves.

There are a hundred reasons why a man is sexually aroused when his wife has sex with another man. So let's put the bullshit stereotype that "Men just want to explore their homosexual side" to rest. Sure there is a small percentage that get off on partaking in bisexual activity, but most of the time even that is more because they are doing something so taboo, so degrading, humiliating, and damaging to their ego that they are getting off on the principal of it more than anything. Anyway, as I was saying, the many reasons out there differ from individual to individual.

I've tried to understand the true reason why I enjoy it, but I'm still not sure I know the real reason. But one big thing I enjoy is that it makes me feel like I'm in high school again. The seemingly sex starved, perpetually horny teenager, who admires the ultra hot and popular cheerleader from afar. And my wife was that type in high school so it's even easier to correlate. And just as a teenager when I had no chance of bagging the popular girl, all I can do is dream and lust after my wife while she does her thing, having sex with her boyfriend. It's a hot scenario. And then when I do get to have sex with her after all of the cuckold play, it's that much more amazing.

Who knows? Maybe we all get our cuckolding desire from the sperm competition theory. Maybe every other reason we give only caters to ourselves but is still an extension of the same basic primal urge. No matter what the reason, I love it, love it, love it.

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Be careful what you wish for

When I discovered Female Domination, I was blown away by the concept. I had fallen completely in lust for the idea of being nothing but a slave for a woman. Naturally, I dreamed of living my entire life in slavery. No rights, no control, just a sexy Goddess making me do whatever she wants.

Even in the beginnings of my vanilla relationship with my wife, I had thoughts of what it would be like to serve her. I never thought I could actually handle her cuckolding me, but I still thought about some of the soft domination she was capable of. After a few years of marriage, I started to get comfortable with the idea that she really could be my Mistress, and even my Cuckoldress. When I confided in my wife that I wanted to be her servant, her willingness to try it made things that much more realistic and possible. We had some great times experimenting as Mistress and slave. The experimenting became routine, and the routine became our lifestyle.

That is when I started to think about how far I could take this lifestyle. I started to think that I was ready to become an extreme cuckold. That I could handle being denied sex forever while my wife had all the lovers she wanted. When I told my wife about how hot I thought something like cuckolding could be, she actually smiled at the idea. She said she'd like to do something, but it would take time for this to sink in. After a few years, she finally got in touch with an ex boyfriend and it didn't take long before they were meeting for sex.

When I was first cuckolded, all seemed well. My dreams were coming true before my very eyes. Then something happened. My dreams were actually coming true, in the not-so-fantasy way. She was wanting less and less of me, denying me sex of all sorts, at the same time doing whatever her boyfriend wanted sexually. She bossed me around even more, and even in front of vanilla friends. I started to freak out a little. After all the years of thinking about this, I didn't understand why I wasn't enjoying it.

Then I realized something. I am still fascinated with cuckoldry even in its extreme form. I am fascinated with the idea of cuckoldry. That doesn't necessarily mean I should be a little bitch of a cuckold for the rest of my entire life. Though I tried to follow in the footsteps of some great cuck boys who have taken their natural place, I have too much Alpha male in myself to live life that way. I had to talk with my wife.

It was great to let my wife know what was on my mind. She said that she likes both sides of me, and agreed that things of this nature should only be an enhancement of our sex life. She keeps her visits with her boyfriend spread out, and we only practice D/s in intervals. Things seemed to have gotten even better.

The phrase 'be careful what you wish for' seems to be overused many times over. But it is the most truthful thing to tell someone who wants to become a complete slave or cuckold. I hear about a lot of Dommes who have subs back out of things because they obviously couldn't handle it. They were in love with the idea of being a slave and have to learn the hard way. My advice is that a good balance of your kinks is just as important as the balance in your life.

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

This is who I am

It didn't take long in my life to know that I was more perverse than your average person. As far back as I can remember, kinky thoughts held a good part of my mind. Though society taught me to suppress those dirty thoughts, it was indeed part of me.

I was a very young boy when my foot fetish surfaced. My tan, blonde aunt would visit us and kick off her flip flops. I was mesmerized, and thought of any excuse I could to touch her feet. And when I was eight years old, I experienced the first sign of my fetish for Female domination. It was an episode of Gilligan's Island no less. Gilligan found himself on the ground with Ginger's feet in his face. That very night and for days I would constantly fantasize about a utopian world where the men would always have to kiss the feet of any woman in their path. It was such a non-traditional and unconventional thought at that time, especially at my age. But my fascination with Femdom would never go away.

I also had a very strong love for all things sexual in nature, even though I never had the opportunities to act on them. As a teenager, I loved sneaking nudie mags and would occasionally would find the more graphic ones like Hustler. Those were my favorite because I'd always find really good, nasty content like interracial, sloppy bj's, titty fucking, etc. I think I had a higher sex drive than the others my age, or just a dirtier mind.

When I was around 18 or 19, I remember seeing some porn where this woman was dominating a guy over the phone, and it seemed like the most erotic thing I'd ever seen. My fascination with Femdom got even stronger. I knew that I would eventually need to act this out.

Then, back in college, I found a discarded issue of Nugget Magazine in my dorm. For those who don't know, it was one of the premiere fetish magazines at the time. It had everything I'd dreamed of and more. Foot worship, chastity, ball busting, cuckolding, you name it. I was now completely exposed to all of my greatest fantasies, and there was no turning back.

Once the internet became popular, I had a constant flow of fetish content at my fingertips. I learned more about all of the things that I loved. My favorite things were foot worship and interracial sex pictures and stories. But I had also read a lot about chastity, forced feminization and forced bi, etc. Coming out of college, I decided I would go see a Dominatrix. I learned quickly that I wasn't a true masochist, and perhaps I was too young at the time to relax and enjoy it because I quickly backed off of that.

Shortly afterward, I met the love of my life. So beautiful, smart, and assertive, and she wanted me so badly that I'm not even sure I had a choice. I think what made me fall for her was the fact that she was so assertive and dominant, and we ended up together, got married, and hopefully we're together for life. She had no idea of my fetishes until about five years into the marriage when I couldn't hold back any longer about my desires to serve as her submissive. To my pleasant surprise, she liked the idea, and listened to my admission of all my fetishes with an open mind. Though she didn't share all of the same interests, she did like the idea of putting me in a chastity device, turning me into her servant, and eventually cuckolding me.

After experimenting for years, we learned that we're not really a 24/7 D/s couple. Maybe I'm not a true submissive even though my fetish for being submissive is strong. I am fond of every aspect of the power exchange, and if the need should arise, being a Dom excites me as well. So we spread things around and tinker with different roles to keep the marriage spicy.

What I've learned is that you shouldn't live in the shadow of your own desires forever. You have to take that chance and make your life reflect who you really are. I feel like the luckiest man in the world for finding that partner who wants to share these kinks and fetishes. The perfect wife, the perfect life.